A Selfless Heart
by taylor.raiyne
Summary: Shisui & Itachi met as child-soldiers during the 3rd ninja war and go on to form a bond that transcends tragedy, loss and death. It's what keeps Itachi sane It's all Shisui has "Walking alone is not difficult but when we have walked a mile worth a thousand years with someone then coming back alone is what's difficult."-Faraaz Kazi (Cover image: malignedaffairs on tumblr) Uchihacest
1. Knowing

**Yay! Finally getting edits updated!**

* * *

Prodigy. Perfection. Gifted.

God, how he hated those words. What the quiet child noticed most people strived to obtain, he wanted to leave him. Those god forsaken words had brought his four year old self here, in the middle of scene that would give even the most hardened shinobi nightmares for the rest of their days.

"That's my boy, Itachi. You did well today." It's his father's voice, praising the child for a day of killing other children.

He looked over at their lifeless bodies unceremoniously tossed beside a mass grave. He wanted to cry, as any child would at such a sight, but he doesn't. He knows his father would think him weak. Now, he would cry if that weakness would cause his father to realize that him being here is wrong, but it won't. He wants to scream that he he wants his mother, his bed, his toys. He wants to scream that this is wrong. He's four but he knows what his father doesn't seem to: A life is precious. He doesn't want to take it anymore. He shouldn't even understand death yet, he knows this. He's four but he understands more than he should. He may be a quiet child, but he watches everything around him, studies all things until he understands them. With every life he takes, he notices a piece of his soul goes with it. He is four but he is empty and his father is proud, so he smiles and says "Thank you, Father"

The returned smirk makes him understand something new: He hates his father, he hates the grownups who sent him to war 3 months ago, and though they say he should, he does not hate the children next to this grave. The boy understands he must act as he does hate the enemy. He is four, but his childhood ended the moment his father found his 18 month old self throwing a shuriken for fun, straighter than most genin. His mother looked sad that day, and his father looked proud when he told her "A prodigy has no time to be a child."

After that, he toys and play were replaced with weapons and training and death.

Like a flash, faster than he's ever seen anyone move, there's a kneeling form in from of him. His hand goes for a weapon in the same moment, but his father raises his hand, so he stays still, silent, and observes.

"Ah, Shisui what is it?" his father asks, half interested.

Shisui? The boy in front of him can't be much older, but he has the same eyes as Itachi. He's 6 but he too knows too much, he too knows this is wrong, and he too can't do anything to stop it. His eyes are hard, those of a killer. Eyes of a boy that shouldn't understand his emotions yet, but already has shaken the hand of death and realized he hates it.

Itachi wants to cry again. It's like seeing his reflection, like looking at himself. He's looking at someone, finally, who knows.

"Fugaku-taichou," the boy is serious when he says it, all life and light gone from his young face. "There's an enemy unit a few kilometers to the East, and the other jounin have asked for your assistance."

'No, I just want to sleep,' Itachi thinks as he stifles a tremble.

His father nods and gives a stern look as though debating something. When he looks at Itachi, the boy has to stifle a grimace. He's not scared of the danger, he's accepted death already. He's scared to take another life. He is terrified and sick to his core, but the prodigy keeps his expression bored, uninterested. He knows what comes now, and he knows there's nothing he can do to stop it. He's pleased that his father can't see his fear.

But Shisui can.

"I can stay with your son, if you'd like Taichou. I'm running medical supplies to the West," he says truthfully and then, without knowing why he lies to his elder. "And I could use the help." He smiles and rubs the back of his neck.

"Ah, stay with Shisui, Itachi. I'll see you in a couple of days." His father says, walking away. The man doesn't look at the toddler soldiers, doesn't tell his son to be careful or that he loves him, he never has. And like that, the boys are alone with the dead children.

"Itachi-sama, it's nice to meet you." The other boy says looking him in the eye before smiling and holding out his hand in a fist. Itachi looks at him with a blank expression and is dumbfounded by the first beautiful thing he's seen in months. The boys smile touches his soul, and he feels safe for the first time since the war started.

He holds his fist out and lightly bumps it. His mask for only a moment cracks with his shock; this is the first time since he hugged his mother goodbye he's been touched without it being a threat.

"I-Itachi, is fine," he mumbles out, staring behind the elder, at the bodies.

Shisui's smile doesn't falter for a moment. "Tachi, then, eh?"

Itachi looks at him, a slightly worried pout crossing his face, which to his bewilderment makes Shisui laugh. Again, he's taken aback by the first beautiful thing he's heard in months.

"We should..." Itachi looks back the bodies behind Shisui.

It's then that Shisui stops smiling and turns around. "Ah, it would be easier to burn them," he says flatly, almost sadly.

The smell of burnt flesh again... Itachi braces himself and walks over to the small campfire to light some brush to place over the bodies.

"Hey! You gonna help me or just stay all cozy by that fire?" It's the other boy calling for him, gingerly dragging a little girl's body into the pit. He pulls a little purple ribbon from her hair before turning around to get the next one.

"Oh, a-ah!" Itachi gives a serious nod and follows the other's lead in burying the bodies. He notices Shisui take off one characteristic piece of clothing or jewelry from each child, so he does the same while looking at his elder curiously.

When they're done, they place each piece of the dead children they kept on top of the grave, securing them to the ground with stray kunai.

Itachi understands now, without having to be told. He's a genius prodigy after all. So when Shisui kneels down in front of the small shrine they've created, Itachi does the same. They would be scolded for days if anyone saw them paying respects to the enemy, but he somehow knows that what he's doing is the most right thing he's ever done.

"I'm sorry," he whispers to the dead children. Something wet touches his face, and he moves to get up. "We should move before the rain start pouring." He says, perfectly articulated, eyes still closed.

"It's not rai—" He cuts himself off when he sees the droplet sliding down his younger's face. 'Oh, he's crying. Does he not realize?' Shisui thinks to himself.

Before Itachi can realize that he's crying for the first time since he could crawl, Shisui's arms are around him. He looks up at the older, shocked, and starts balling like the little boy that he is.

"Shh, shh, I know, I know, it's okay. You're okay. I know," Shisui coos, his own tears now falling on Itachi's hair.

The two stand there, crying in the dead night for a long time, until Shisui starts laughing. Confused and hurt, thinking he was being mocked, Itachi gives him a worried look.

"Now, don't look so worried, Tachi! It doesn't suit your face!" He laughs before his face becomes as serious as he was with Itachi's father. "You know too, don't you?" Shisui half explains, half asks.

The small boy smiles and nods through the tears. He can't laugh too, not yet, but his heart is.

The small boy with nothing but his kunai and the sounds of death to keep him company at night falls asleep that night to the sound of his friend's laughter.

He doesn't think anyone's ever understood another person as well as they do now, after only a few words. And in the middle of a battlefield, next to the grave of dead children, the boy is happy for the first time in his life.

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 **A little about this story, it's going to be my first yaoi (Wooot woooot), and attempt at Uchihacest. The first several chapters are going to be more about character analysis and developement than anything else, but we will get to the juicy stuff later! This story will be semi-cannon compliant to the best of my abilities with the one change that the massacre/event leading to it happen 2 years later. This means that when shit starts going down, Itachi will be 15, Shisui 17, and Sasuke 10. Let me know what you guys thinks, I'm really enjoying writing this so far! Have a beautiful day!**


	2. The End

**More edits and updates :D haven't added much so far. Mostly just because it was harder to read before.**

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Clang-Clank-Clang. Breath, evade, punch, throw, breath. Clang-Clank-Clang.

Fighting like this is second nature now, his body is on autopilot. Another one is about to punch, he can almost feel what the man will do. His small frame barely has any strength or chakra, but he's faster than this giant man. A barely visible move to the left and the man's punch misses, throwing him to the ground. In the next moment Itachi is straddling his chest, kunai already ripped through his throat. He doesn't look in their eyes anymore, but he can still feel his fear as the end is brought down on him by this prodigy-toddler-soldier.

He doesn't look at him afterwards either. It's a feat Shisui taught him to use. It's easier to pretend it never happened if you can't remember what it looked like when it did.

These last four months have been much easier than the first three, thanks to Shisui.

Itachi gets up off of the fallen shinobi and gives a small bow towards the dead bodies behind him, keeping his eyes closed. When he opens them, he sees Shisui a few meters away doing the same. Careful to miss the strewn out weapons and blood on the broken Earth, he makes his way over to the elder.

"We need to collect the supplies quickly, before their comrades show up Shi-nii." They're both panting now, even if they're geniuses, they're only 5 and 7 now and just defending themselves from 4 enemy chunin has nearly drained them. If they don't retreat soon they're both as good as dead, and they both agree to that fact without speaking.

Shisui grimaces slightly and closes his eyes. He doesn't like leaving the dead so vulgarly exposed like this, Itachi knows, but they don't have the time.

Shisui composes himself and finally looks at Itachi, and winks, his cheeky grin replacing his grimace. Still panting slightly but almost back in control he says, "Alright, 'Tachi I'll get the supplies off of that one." He point to a dead girl of maybe 13 a few meters away, but Itachi doesn't look. "And you get the ones the fell out of our packs over there." He now motions to the open field with their charges strung across it.

Itachi gives a nod, and smiles to himself at Shisui's obvious attempts at shielding him from what he can. As he picks up the hundreds of containers of food pills haphazardly spread out over a few square meters, he contemplates the last four months of his young life.

After meeting Shisui, Itachi never had to go back to endlessly killing with his Father. Shisui had somehow convinced the never-wavering man that Itachi was invaluable in carrying supplies to the different squads. Itachi thought he'd never be able to properly thank Shisui for this small but most profound kindness. They still had to kill of course, but only in defense. And though a piece of him still died every time, it was a little better, a little easier knowing he had no choice.

It was also easier now that he could (and did) cry at night, and they weren't the tears of a scared child anymore, not like that first time. Now it was only when they were alone in a safe camp site, in the dead of night. Both boys would hold each other to keep the cold out and let silent tears slip down their young faces for a few moments, until Shisui would attempt to make a joke Itachi never found very funny. But when Shisui would laugh at himself and Itachi's very unamused face, Itachi would always smile.

It was easier now, but not just because he wasn't alone anymore. Shisui did small things to shield his younger friend. He knew of course, that Itachi was as close to his equal in ability as anyone their age, so he never got overprotective during fights or butt in where he didn't belong. Shisui simply shielded Itachi's young mind any way he could. He knew the boy would be as damaged as he was by all of this, but he wanted Itachi to remain as pure as he could help.

One night, in their sixth week as partners, Shisui even transformed some sticks into a green stuffed dinosaur for Itachi, earning the most beautiful laugh he'd ever heard. They were attacked not 5 minutes later and he had to undo the jutsu to conserve chakra, but it had been worth it for both of them, to be children playing with a toy for 5 minutes.

"Oi, 'Tachi! What are you smiling about over there? We gotta book it!" Shisui called to him, walking forward.

"I was just thinking about things..." Itachi mumbled, blushing slightly, unable to fully reapply his mask yet.

They started running in pace away from the small battlefield they'd just dominated.

"Oooooh, is it a joke!? Is the great Itachi-sama finally gonna grace me with some humor?" Shisui giggled to Itachi in his lackadaisical way that the younger could never manage to copy but loved all the same.

"Not everything is a joke Shi-nii," he half-heartedly scolded.

"Then what, tell me, tell me! We still have a two day journey to the next checkpoint, and it's gonna be boring!" A flash of seriousness entered his eyes, but only for a moment. Most wouldn't notice it, but Itachi did, and he understood.

Yes I hope it's boring too. Itachi thought to himself.

"I was thinking of the dinosaur," he half whispered, puffing out one of his cheeks in an embarrassed pout. This earned a heartfelt full laugh from the elder.

"Yeah, I'm the best," he joked before flipping the switch Itachi had noticed in his head to become that of a serious Shinobi. "Let's pick up the pace; I want to get halfway there before we stop."

With a curt nod, they both jumped into the trees and went full paced, in a silence that was so comfortable, they could have been two boys at a play date, instead of running from death, and towards it again.

* * *

When they made it 3/4 the distance to the next checkpoint (Because they were indeed the geniuses of their clan), they found a small cave in the side of a cliff to sleep for the night. Itachi found the firewood while Shisui laid out too many traps. They never took shifts staying awake, though they probably should, so Shisui always made sure to leave traps for his traps for the other traps to hide more traps.

They ate half formed ongiri made by the younger, earning teasing from the older. The fire was barely enough to cook the rice, but it was always delicious, eating a hot meal with a friend (as Shisui always put it).

When the fire had died to ember, Shisui laid out the adult sized sleeping bag that fit them both, and settled in. Itachi stayed an arm length away, sitting and staring at the embers. He didn't jump when Shisui lightly tugged the back of his hair. This was always how he spoke to Itachi when he knew he needed silence. Without another breath, Itach turned on his knees and got into worn sleeping bag. They both laid on their sides and faced each other, beginning their nightly ritual. Without losing eye contact, they both silently let a few tears slip down their faces and thought of the lives they've taken.

Right on cue Shisui said, "You know, I think most boys look girly with long hair." He paused when Itachi gave him his worried pout, tears still falling. "Oh lighten up, 'Tachi, I was gonna say I think Long hair suits you! I... I like that," he smiled, softly chuckling to himself.

Itachi blushed when Shisui leaned closer, and reached his arm behind his head to flip up the back of his hair.

"Thank you, I guess," he mumbled, meaning to look annoyed but finding he could only smile, his tears were gone now. Shisui did something else that both surprised Itachi and for some reason made him blush. He left his hand on the back of his head and pulled his face into his chest. Itachi stiffened at first, and just as Shisui was about to pull away, he gripped the front of his elder's shirt and burrowed his head in his chest. Itachi couldn't see it but Shisui was smiling with new tears in his eyes as he fell into the abyss. That night Itachi heard his new favorite sound. He fell asleep listening to the beat of Shisui's heart.

* * *

A week later and three checkpoints away, they're both washing in a stream when Uchiha Fugaku appears, a harder expression than Itachi ever thinks he's seen on his face. He says nothing, so they both scramble to get dressed as quickly as possible, having a silent conversation with their eyes.

'What does he want, Tachi?'

'I don't know, did we mess something up?'

'He doesn't look mad, he's not yelling or anything.'

A wide eyed look between them means only one thing: 'Who's died?'

They shuffle after Fugaku as fast as they could in still wet clothes. Fugaku lead them to the center of this base camp, to the biggest tent. Once inside, they see happy Leaf shinobi hugging and laughing to each other. They share one more look before Fugaku clears his throat at the front of the crowd.

"As some of you may know already, we've just received word that after the battle of Kanabi Bridge, and after the painstaking negotiations of the Lords, the Third Great Ninja war is over." There's a loud thunder rolling through the crowd. Shisui and Itachi start laughing too, until they notice Fugaku's seemingly scolding eyes fall on them.

Fugaku steps aside, and a smaller woman steps on the small platform, she has a medic's uniform on, and her eyes are puffy. She coughs a few times to get everyone's attention. They all fall silent. After every major battle they're all informed of the dead since the last one.

"I will now list our most recent and last fallen comrades of this war." Someone hoots, but stops when Fugaku glares in their direction.

She goes on and though both boys pretend to listen, they're both so excited they hold each other's' hands to keep from jumping up and down. They're in public now, and must act as the Uchiha geniuses made of stone everything thinks they are.

But when she gets to the Uchiha names, Shisui almost loses his balance, if not for Itachi's hand. What did she just say? Itachi can't remember.

"Obito-nii..." Shisui whispers, his eyes closed in remorse. Itachi doesn't know who that person is, but squeezes his hand because he can't think of another thing to do.

But when the next names come out, both of their worlds stop dead. "Uchiha Kagehu;" Pause. "Uchiha Akane."

Shisui's knees finally give out, his eyes red as blood now. Itachi looks to his father for help, but his eyes are closed.

Without another thought, Itachi hoists Shisui's arm over his shoulders and wobbles him out of the tent. Shisui says nothing as he's placed in an empty medic tent next door. He just stares ahead with a look of man who's dead inside plastered on his now 7 year old face. Itachi sits beside him on the ground, not letting go of his hand. He knows to wait it out. His father told him the first time someone awakens the Sharingan, especially children, they will pass out from chakra depletion not yet being able to deactivate it.

The logical part of his brain wants to know why his friend got those eyes without witnessing the loss, but he silences it. He just sits and waits for Shisui's pain to stop, though he knows it never will.

"Mother... Father…" It's barely a whisper, and then his eyes close on tears and he slumps onto Itachi's shoulder.

The last piece of childhood they both had clung to dies along with this war.


	3. Two pieces of the Puzzle

**More edits :D**

* * *

The next time Itachi sees Shisui, they've been back in the leaf for 3 days. In the morning they'll go to the cemetery for a mass funeral for all of their fallen comrades, Shisui's parents included. Itachi was just about to fall asleep, reveling in the comfort of his own bed, when Shisui appears in his window and lets himself in.

Something shining off of the moonlight catches Itachi's eye. "Shi-nii, why do you have a headband?" Itachi whispers, scooting over on his bed for Shisui to lay. But Shisui remains where he is, perched on the sill, the light and air that used to define him is no longer present on his face.

"Your father said I was good enough to skip the academy," He shrugs like this is no big deal, but Itachi knows better. "He gave me a speech about how proud and happy the clan was for my eyes." Finally Shisui gets up and walks over to lay on the bed, facing Itachi. "I don't want these eyes, 'Tachi. I want my parents." His voice is barely audible.

Itachi knows, Shisui does not need to explain it, that what he's just said is the most profound secret of their young lives. To say this is a weakness, a weakness unbecoming of an Uchiha genius, but Itachi finds he doesn't think Shisui is weak. Shisui is the strongest person he knows, and though Itachi doesn't understand what is happening to his friend, he wishes he could make it better.

"I'm S-" Itachi stops himself; simple I'm sorry's won't make this better, so he does the only thing he knows to do. He pulls Shisui's head to his chest and hold the slightly bigger boy and lets him silently cry. The cold steal of his headband pressed up against the thin cotton of his clothed chest makes him shiver, but he doesn't ask him to remove it. Instead, he holds his friend until his breathing evens out, and when Shisui moves to get up and leave, he pulls him closer. The boys fall asleep like they did every night since they met, in each other's arms, silently hoping all will be better in the morning, knowing that it never will.

* * *

At dawn, Itachi is awoken by his mother's voice in the kitchen and Shisui is gone. He swiftly gets dressed in his funeral attire and makes his way downstairs to his mother and father, both looking sullen in the dull light. Itachi can't find it in himself to eat, so he goes outside and watches the clouds until his parents emerge, and without a word follows them to the cemetery. The Third says some nice words about the people who've fallen, but Itachi doesn't pay attention. He only hears his Father's voice with his other clan members, whispering behind him.

"After this war, even though we've reached a truce, most people blame the Third."

"Yeah, I heard he's taken full responsibility and is retiring. The clan wants you as the Fourth, Taichou."

"Enough of this," a stern voice cuts in; it's his father's voice.

"Well what about Obito's eye? The Hatake kid has the sharingan now, and he's not even part of our clan!"

'Obito?' Itachi remembers Shisui mentioning him before they knew about his parents.

"Let's leave it alone for now; I understand Obito Uchiha fought bravely." It's his father again. Itachi looks at the boy in question. He's maybe 12, and has the same look in his eye that Shisui does now. He's in pain, Itachi guesses. Why are these grownups so worried about something like that when the boy is obviously hurt?

"We should just grab him and take it!" At this, Itachi's eyes widen. Take that boy's eye away? Why?

"Enough! We just fought a war; let's not sow the seeds of discord once again. We'll honor Obito's wishes, and watch what Hatake does with it." His father sounds angry now, and they all remain silent.

* * *

When everyone starts to disperse, Itachi decides to find Shisui to try to decipher the motives of the grownups at the funeral. If a life is precious, and it hurts for it to be taken away, then why were the grownups so... So unbothered by it? What is it to be alive? What is it to be dead?

He wanders off towards the graves and sees and angry pale man standing in the middle of the marble head stones.

"It's meaningless to grieve the dead," the man says, maybe to Itachi, maybe to himself.

"What is the meaning of life?" Itachi asks, he's a grown up, maybe he knows.

"Life is utterly meaningless." The man pauses to smile when Itachi's eyes widen. "Unless it's eternal," he adds and with that, he turns and walks away.

Life is meaningless? Death is meaningless? Grieving the dead is meaningless? Itachi has never been more confused in his young life. But what is it to be alive? Why does life matter if it's meaningless? Why does Shisui look so broken now, if it's pointless to grieve the dead?

Itachi quickly heads home and changes into his normal attire, weapons pouch included. His mother is the only one home and she's too dead eyed to stop him. He quickly takes note that her eyes look like Shisui's and that white haired boy. Itachi needs answers. If life is pointless then why does everyone have that look about its loss?

He quickly hurries to the Naka River, where his father first trained him last year, before deciding he was ready for war. He runs swiftly up stream until he finds the tallest part of the cliff running along the water, maybe 20 meters down. He walks up to the cliff's edge and some rocks shift under his feet, causing some pebbles to plummet to the rocky shore. It's a good 10 seconds before they hit the bottom.

Perfect. He thinks to himself. Whether he's here to die or not, he's not sure. He must figure out what it means to be alive, and he must do it now. The young child is calm in all things but loses patience when he can't decipher something quickly, and he HAS to understand what this all means.

Images flash in his head.

Dead children at his feet, by his own hand.

His father's explanation of war, after a man he was only trying to help tried to kill him.

Shisui's face when he learned of his parent's death.

His mother's/Shisui's/that white haired boy's eyes.

'WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?!'

And then, without another moment's contemplation, Itachi throws himself from the cliff. He's weightless for a moment, perhaps at peace, perhaps in shock. Then, after less than a moment, his eyes snap open as he hears a flock of crows screaming around him. Suddenly he can see the small sliver of blue water starts becoming bigger and more detailed in his field of vision.

I DON'T WANT TO DIE! He finds himself screaming in his mind. On instinct, as he does most things, he pulls a kunai and stabs it into the hard bedrock behind him, attempting to slow his fall. A large harder rocks catches on the kunai and he's thrown from the cliff side, a fear he's never felt before coursing like white hot steal pulsing through his veins. He quickly pulls another kunai and stabs them both behind him, slowing himself just enough to land with a hard thud on the rocky floor of the canyon.

He's bruised and his backside is a little bloodied from indented rocks, but he's alive. 'Alive' he thinks.

The same flock of crows that brought him to awareness as he was falling swarms around him, squawking madly.

"You guys..." He says to the crows. So no one wants to die. A piece of the puzzle falls into place. We all want to live, even him. He's somewhat shocked at this new realization about himself.

The crows keep flying around him, testing he puts out his arm. The all scatter slightly but one of them flutters its wings and lands on his arm.

"You want to live too?" He looks at the crow curiously. He feels connected to them now, a strange thread connecting them as kindred spirits with the will to simply continue existing. Thank you, he thinks at the crow. It bows its head at him and just like that they all fly away, leaving him alone at the base of the cliff.

Life wants to exist. It's not a meaning, but it's a start. Satisfied, he dusts himself off and start back towards home.

* * *

Four months pass by, each day looking about the same. He trains all day, sometimes with Shisui if he's not on a mission and sometimes alone, until the light starts to fade and his body starts to give out. He then comes home for dinner and his parents chat idly about things he doesn't care about. They smile at each other and exchange looks he has yet to decipher. He leaves his window open if Shisui isn't already in his room and the boys fall asleep in each other's comfort. And the next day Itachi always wakes up alone, and starts all over again.

Today is different though. Mother asked him to go to the doctor with her, and he of course said yes so she would smile at him and pat his head. He realizes while he's waiting on her in the waiting room that something could be wrong with her, and a brief moment of panic enters his mind. He resolves to ask her when she comes back.

A door opens. "We'll need you to check back in a couple of weeks."

"Thank you so much." It's his mother's voice, when he looks at her she's bowing to the nurse and walking towards him.

As they walk on the road back to their mansion he decides to ask: "Mother, are you sick?"

She stops and turns to face him in the dimly lit road. "No, Itachi, I'm fine." She smiles down at him. "In a few months you're going to have a little sister or brother." She informs him. A baby? The wheels turn in his head and he imagines what his baby sibling might be like.

"I think it'll be a baby brother," he says, imagining a little otouto in his mother's arms.

"But a girl would be cute too, though, right?" his mother laughs.

"Yes, but I think it'll be a boy," he reasserts to her.

She grabs his head and brings him into a hug; his face is pressed against a swollenness he hadn't noticed before on her waist.

"Either way, you'll be a Nii-chan, Itachi," she says before releasing him and continuing their journey home.

* * *

Later that night as he's lying in bed with a half asleep Shisui he whispers, "I'm going to a Nii-san, Shisui."

Shisui opens one eye and smiles at his young friend, reach around to pull on the back of his hair. "Congrats, Tachi," he giggles, as he's starting to do more often again.

"Shisui, how do you get a baby?"

Shisui almost chokes on the breath he was taking. He hadn't really been told yet where babies came from, but he knew enough from what his mother told him when he asked a few months before the war.

Somewhat sadly, he smiles and whispers "Mother told me once that when a person finds the most important person in their life and they love each other and make each other happy, they want to share that love and happiness with a new person, so they make a baby."

Itachi makes a thoughtful face as he ponders this. Thinking he's satisfied, Shisui settles back in the bed to sleep.

"Then I think I'd make one with you." Itachi whispers to Shisui as serious as he always is.

Shisui's eyes shoot open, he wants to laugh (Even he knows two boys can't make a baby together), but when he sees Itachi's innocent and very serious face, he can't. "Why?" He decides to ask.

Again Itachi ponders this for several long moments, before looking Shisui dead in the eye. "You're the most important person to me, and you make me happy." He says, still dead serious.

"Yeah I guess that's true. Get some sleep, Tachi."

"Shisui?"

"Hn?"

"What is it to love someone?"

Shisui laughs at his friend in his free way. "You'll know it when you see it, Tachi."

* * *

And Itachi does, a few months later when he's brought to his mother's hospital room by his father to meet his new brother. A new life, he ponders as he pokes the chubby cheek of the newborn. His mother hands the boy to their father who names him Sasuke. And at that Itachi knows what love is. Love is this new, innocent and pure life. Love's name is Sasuke.

Sasuke seems to think Itachi is love too, because he only seems to settle when he's with his brother, much to their parent's dismay. Sasuke starts to fill all of his moments when he's not training. Shisui starts going on more missions and barely comes to sleep with him anymore, but he understands Shisui's duty and can't seem to make himself feel lonely in his absence. Sasuke fills his heart with such joy, and a strange need to protect this new life from all things.

* * *

A new piece of his never-ending puzzle to find the meaning of life, death, and loss falls into place on a night with a bright full moon. Both of his parents are out and Sasuke won't seem to settle down as he sits on their porch rocking the fussy infant. Suddenly he feels a strange ominous wind blow through his hair followed by a loud crash off in the distance. In the next moment the house starts to tremble and Sasuke is screaming.

He instinctively runs out into the hectic street and finds himself again surrounded by dead bodies. He freezes for a moment, watching people screaming and running around him.

"All civilians are to report to the South East bunker immediately!" he hears someone scream before he feels the wind shift and jumps out of the way just as a building crashes behind him.

He starts running towards the bunker, holding this precious life securely in his arms.

"Mother! Father!" he hears a familiar girl's scream from his right and sees a brown haired Uchiha girl from his Uchiha pre-academy lessons crying huddled up next to a building. He hesitates for a moment, looking at Sasuke, but decides she deserves to live too.

"Come on, we have to get out of here!" he yells to the girl.

"Itachi-kun?" she looks up at him with teary eyes.

"Come on!" He reaches out his hand and catches her just in time as the buildings behind her collapse in a would-be deadly manner. He pulls her along running towards the bunker with a screaming Sasuke.

"Father! Uh, go on ahead, you'll be safe now." he tells the girl and after a moment's hesitation she keeps running along with a mob of civilians.

"Hmph, I knew you'd be alright, go on to the bunker," his father commands, barely looking at his could be dead sons. What was I expecting? Itachi scolds himself for thinking he'd be worried.

When he arrives at the shelter he notices a hyperventilating girl in the corner.

"Izumi?" he whispers softly, remembering her name now from their lessons.

When she looks up at him, her eyes are the color of blood with a single tomoe in each iris.

"Sharingan?" he whispers to himself.

"M-m-mother...She's..." Itachi's face lights up with understanding. She must have passed her mother's body on the way here, alone, he adds scolding himself. This girl may not be Sasuke or Shisui but she's a friend he realizes and guilt suddenly engulfs him.

"I'm sorry, Izumi," he says sitting next to her. She grabs his shirt with one hand and slowly loses consciousness beside him, her tiny body exhausted. As the stone walls around them shake mercilessly he finds himself wondering, hoping, and maybe even praying that Shisui and his mother are okay.

Life is precious he thinks, some more than others. Though he hasn't felt the loss of life yet, he feels an overwhelming fear akin to his cliff dive. He wants Shisui, Sasuke and his mother to live as much as he himself wants to live.

The first piece to his puzzle: All life feels the need to live. The second one now fitting to it: Love makes him need those precious to him to live just as badly.

Shisui, Mother, please be okay. The child repeats in his mind, clutching his precious otouto to his chest for dear life.


	4. Changes

**Ohaiyo! So this chapter I decided to do something different with. It's going to be mostly from Shisui's point of view, leaving out Itachi's life events that are shown in his books/the anime that just came out. I suggest watching the anime or reading the Itachi Shinden books before reading this story in general, but I'll make reference points, so the story can stand on its own. It'll just be easier to get the full picture with the background knowledge... Okay I'm rambling now, so without further ado!**

 **I still, sadly don't own Naruto...**

Shisui rushed towards the village ahead of even his jonin leader, as if the devil himself were on his tale. The night before they had just gotten done hunting down a boar that hand been ruining farms about a one and half days travel from Konaha when they got the message. Immediately, Shisui had taken off, forgetting his duty entirely with a burning hot fear coursing through him.

The kyuubi had attacked, the Hokage was dead along with countless other villagers, and all Shisui could think of was Itachi. If he lost Itachi now... Shisui couldn't even bring himself to ponder that scenario as he expertly pumped more chakra into his 7 year old legs and picked up his pace towards his home. If he could keep it up, he'd be there in 2 hours.

'No, one hour.' He thought to himself as he pushed himself to his limit. He heard the faint calling of his sensei and teammate trailing behind him, but he couldn't care about that in this moment as he tried to focus on the pushing of his legs and nothing else.

Shisui had calculated correctly and reached the gates in an hour almost exactly, his teammates still several kilometers behind. He waved to the gaurds and swiftly went in search of Itachi's chakra. Ever resilient as his home was, they had already started rebuilding. It had been four days since the attack, Shisui and his team had missed the funeral he so desperately wasn't also for Itachi, and now everyone was picking themselves back up.

He could have screamed when he felt the familiar chakra off in the distance to his left. As quick as his young body had let him, he jumped on a half caved in roof and lept from building to building until he found Itachi. Panting, and with one eye open, he finally saw the grey-black haired boy cradling his baby brother in his arms. Shisui gave himself a moment to rest before he would leap down.

Itachi was speaking to a girl he didn't recognize with brown hair and an Uchiha fan on the back of her purple shirt, Shisui could just barely make out what they were saying.

"Thank you, uh- I mean for saving me that is, Itachi-kun." The girl stammered, obviously nervous.

Itachi, as oblivious to normal things as always simply told her, "I'm glad you didn't die." To which she sweat dropped and Shisui held his hand over his mouth to stop from laughing loudly. 'Tachi sure has a way with people.' He thought sarcastically to himself, but he knew Itachi was being serious.

He then witnessed the girl trying to hold the baby Sasuke much to the infants distress. As soon as he was reinstated into Itachi's arms he started laughing and clapping happily. Shisui found himself to be nothing but happy that his friend had someone so precious to him.

Looking up, Itachi finally noticed him, and though the girl wasn't attuned to the facial language of Itachi, Shisui was. He could see pure relief flash over Itachi's face, to which Shisui blushed slightly and made a hand gesture for river before quickly making himself scarce.

He ran to the Naka river, finding a place beneath the trees to relax for a moment. He'd been running for a day straight, faster than even his sensei had and quite frankly he was exhausted. He wanted to go to sleep, but his need to see Itachi outweighed that need for a moment.

Itachi finally came into view not 10 minutes later, missing his ever present bundle on his chest.

"Where's the little squirt?" Shisui replaced a proper greeting with.

"I passed by Father and asked if he could take him for a while." Itachi had the signature worried look on his face he only seemed to use with Shisui. It was if he could read the younger's thoughts.

"Ya'know, 'Tachi, you should give your dad a chance."

To this Itachi tilted his head in an almost mechanical manner, making his elder laugh.

"He's the face of the Uchiha, that's what Mama always told me. It can't be easy, all that pressure ya'know." And he knew Itachi knew about pressure, as did Shisui. Itachi seemed to ponder this for a moment before dismissing it and changing his focus.

"I'm glad you didn't die, Shisui." The seriousness of his tone somewhat mirroring the one he used with the girl, but his eyebrows drew together in a way that told the elder it was a stronger feeling behind this confession.

He couldn't help but smile as he got up and stretched. "I'm glad you didn't either, Tachi." A sudden thought crossed his mind. "Do you know what happened to my house?"

The younger's face was somber as he slowly shook his head at the elder.

"That bad, huh? Wonder who I should talk to about getting a tent." He joked.

"Father said the whole clan is moving to a new area as soon as it can be built. I'm sure Mother would be okay if you stayed in our rental until then." The shy look on his younger's face was priceless.

"I'd end up sleeping there anyway." To this Itachi made a slight twitch of his lips Shisui knew to take as a smile. A part of him knew that other would find their sleeping habits strange, but being 5 and 7 year old veterans was more strange he rationalized to himself.

"Want to spar?" Itachi asked suddenly.

Shisui took stock of his condition and shook his head. "How about I teach you something instead?" To this, Itachi's face lit up and a real smile, if you could call it that broke onto his face, causing Shisui's heart to do odd things.

"Alright, how about..." He pondered for a moment. "Shadow clones?"

Itachi gave him the most shocked and confused he'd ever seen. He explained, "I had to learn it to bypass the academy, it only took me 2 days, but I bet you can beat it." He challenged, hitting the right button he saw Itachi's shoulders square. He quickly demonstrated the hand signs and made one perfect clone before releasing it and sinking on the grass exhausted, closing his eyes. 'That should keep him busy.'

He heard the tell-tale poof and opened his eyes to assess a surely faulty clone, with slight teasing of course. But when he opened his eyes, he saw two perfectly identical Itachis both giving him a smug look.

"What- How-" He got another smug look at his speechlessness. He conceded closing his eyes. "You really are exceptional, you know that Tachi?"

The younger continued trying to make as many clones as he could manage, even being exceptional it seemed he only had enough chakra to maintane two clones. When he was panting they decided to go find his mother to ask if they could house Shisui. She of course said yes, with a fond smile at the two of them.

When the Uchiha district was complete four months later, Shisui was given a small one room apartment he barely used a couple of streets from Itachi's over flowing mansion. Itachi was in the academy now, having turned six and Shisui was on his way to becoming a chunin quickly. Fugaku took a special interest in both boys, noticing their growth and often encouraged them to train together when Itachi got home from the academy. Little did the head of their clan, or anyone else for that matter, know that Itachi often used the clone jutsu Shisui had taught him several months before to send his clones to school. He spent most everyday with Shisui when he wasn't away on a mission, and the two quickly became even closer than either had thought possible.

They honed their skills together every chance they got, only stopping to play silly games Itachi's father would see as beneath them by the river. And as always, they spent every night that Shisui was in the village sleeping in Itachi's room. Shisui would only remain there until the sun rose, before he'd deftly maneuver out of the bed and make his way back to his tiny empty apartment to prepare for the day.

When Itachi was 8 he made genin, just as a 10 year old Shisui was in training to be an exceptionally young Jonin. Their routine remained much the same, save for their missions, and now when Shisui would sneak out in the morning, he'd wake Itachi and give him an adoring kiss on the forehead that the younger never thought to question.

One night, however, when Shisui jumped through Itachi's window at midnight to greet him from a mission that dragged a strange amount of time past its initial duration, he was greeted by a crying Itachi with glowing crimson eyes. Shisui immediately understood, rushing over to embrace the breaking boy.

Itachi didn't speak at all for a long time, limply letting himself be held by his elder.

With the voice of someone much older than an 8 year old, he whispered "He was my friend." To which Shisui nodded and removed the head band from his head to kiss his forehead. He smelled like blood and Shisui noticed his clothes had a slight crust to them. With out another thought, he lifter Itachi onto his back and carried him to the bathroom connected to his room.

Shisui was beginning to become unsettled by the way Itachi limping sagged onto the tile floor. He went over to run a bath and when he turned, Itachi hadn't moved. Shisui knew Itachi had been holding this in, as he did all things, until he arrived. He cursed himself for waiting until such a late hour before sneaking in.

Shisui slowly walked over to the boy and got on his knees in front of him. "Lift your arms." He instructed and Itachi complied, his eyes coal black again, the deep bruises under his eyes and his slight odor indicating it had been some time since Itachi had slept or bathed. The normally perfectly put together prodegy had been reduced to a sobbing heap covered in blood and durt on the floor, and his parents (Shisui added to himself with a hateful scorn, his FATHER) had left him like this. He knew the next days would be filled with praise and meetings regarding Itachi's Sharingan, and no one would ask him how he was dealing with his teammates death.

Shisui took it upon himself to be everything Itachi needed, every chance he got, so with the careful, adoring hands of a mother he undress the young Uchiha and settled him in the tub. A part of him wondered how either of them could be this comfortable with each other when they could barely stand the prolonged company of anyone else, but quickly refocused his mind.

He made quick work of scrubbing the younger limp body, ignoring the stirring butterflies in his belly he'd noticed he got around Itachi since he started puberty. The younger barely even so much as blinked the whole time. When he washed Itachi's now shoulder lengthed hair, the water turned a light pink that caused Itachi to cringe slightly. Taking note of his reactions, Shisui made sure to hurry before lifting his friend out of the tub bridal style and carrying his still wet body to the bed. He went to find him clothes, but was stopped by an iron grip on his wrist. He looked down as fear crossed Itachi's eyes.

Reading his thoughts, Shisui whispered "I'm just getting you some clothes Tachi." To this Itachi lowered his hand.

When the younger was dressed, he lay next time him, looking into lost, coal eyes.

"I didn't understand." Shisui was somewhat taken aback by the first words Itachi had managed to utter in a long while.

"Hm?"

"Sadness and loss, I thought I understood what it meant. I thought I knew, but this..." His usually articulate and precise speech interrupted by confusion and exhaustion, he took a deep breath. "I know what sadness is now, Shisui, I know what some of what you felt all those years ago."

Shisui's heart sank slightly at the reminder of his parents death's but he tried to not let it show.

"And I did nothing to help you, like you're helping me." Itachi looked at him with what others might think as pity, but he understood as he had all those years ago when they met that it was a look of knowledge and shared pain.

"Shhh, shh Tachi." He ran a soothing hand through Itachi's wet hair. "You did help me, I coulda been alone ya'know, but I've never been alone thanks to you. Go to sleep now, Tachi."

Itachi pondered this for a moment like he did most everything his elder said, and a look of realization came over his face suddenly as he met his elder's eyes again. Before Shisui could understand this change, Itachi leaned forward and pecked Shisui softly on the lips. Shisui was left wide eyed and stunned, as Itachi gave a curt nod.

"Shisui?"

"Y-ya?"

"I love you." The seriousness on his face made Shisui smile. Any other eight year old would mistake many things for love, he knew. But this was Itachi, and when Itachi said something, he meant it.

"I love you too, Tachi."

A few more months passed, and their young lives continued to change. Shisui was now fully instated as a jonin at 11, and went on increasingly dangerous and lengthy missions. Itachi was on his way to chunin at 9, slightly slower than Shisui had, but still with all of the grace and speed true to the prodigy he was. As Shisui had predicted, Fugaku's entire focus had shifted to his elder son's new eyes, and Itachi felt building pressure on his tiny shoulders. No more love confessions or kisses were shared past the night Shisui had taken care of Itachi's broken state, but a new understanding had formed between them.

A training exercise came across Shisui's attention in the forest of death and he could think of no other genin to bring than Itachi. He noticed the only time Itachi looked comfortable in his home was at night when all he could focus on was Shisui. He was happy he was able to teach the young prodigy a few things, like when they were younger, and they shared a hot meal in front of a camp fire like they had when they met in what seemed like another lifetime. Soon, though, their meal was interrupted by an anbu fight.

In their fight fight protecting an anbu from what Shisui soon recognized as Foundation members, they found themselves discussing what a true shinobi should be. Shisui came to his realization telling them all, and striking a lasting chord in Itachi that, "Self-sacrifice… a nameless shinobi who protects peace from within its shadow. That is the true mark of a shinobi!"

The boys split up, and both won their fights, true to the prodigies they were. Shisui found himself cringing when the only conscious member of the Foundation said their names and told them they'd be watching.

He noticed after clearing things up with his supervisors that Itachi had sprained his ankle. He quickly went to wrap it, much to the younger's protest. "When you first use your Sharingan, your mind processes what's happening faster than your body can react, leaving a gap. When you try to overcompensate for that gap, this happens."

"You're still making too big of a deal about it." The younger retorted puffing out his cheek and opening pouting as he did so often to Shisui. But when he tried to stand he was left with no choice but the let Shisui carry him home on his back. Shisui tried to ignore the pounding in his chest at their proximity.

He was so caught up in trying to control his body on the walk back to Itachi's house, he barely noticed the boy speak. He caught the tale end of it, understanding none the less.

"...Where's the justice in that?"

Shisui smiled at the ever questioning Itachi and replied the best way he could. "I don't even know if there is such a thing as justice in the shinobi world. We fight believing in our own justice. But if the enemy is doing the same thing, who's right?"

Itachi seemed to ponder this for a moment. "I don't know." He whispered, obviously dismayed and exhausted.

"I don't know either, but I do know one thing. I will never, ever betray you, Tachi." He felt the grip on his chest tighten slightly and could just feel Itachi's smile. "You must be tired from using your Sharingan, sleep now, Tachi." He told Itachi, as he did almost every night. The boy was so exhausted he didn't even stir when Shisui laid him in the bed, and cuddled close to him.

His last memory of the night was of his lips pressing gently to Itachi's forehead as he tugged on his pony-tail adoringly.

 **Wooooot! Long Chapter! So that was the last of the little kid part. In the next chapter they'll be 11 and 13, and the romance will truly begin. As I said in the beginning, I'm making them both two years older at the fall of the Uchiha clan, so they'll both be in Anbu two years longer, and we'll start deviating from cannon finally. Hope you all enjoy my retelling of the cannon events with a yaoi twist so far ^-^ Let me know how I'm doing, yeah? And a special thank you to by Beta reader, BluBoo0003!**


	5. Attraction

**Hello again! Woo! So we're finally getting somewhere with the romance and sexual tension :D**

 **A special thank to** **Mainki Akuma** **for helping me with Itachi's character in this chapter. And to** **CelestialCircumference** **for helping me with my editing :)**

 **As always, enjoy and tell me what you think!**

* * *

At 11 it was decided Itachi would enter the Anbu, much to Shisui's dismay. The elder knew that Fugaku had been adamant about this promotion, and not just for his son's career advancement. After the nine tails attack 5 years prior, the village and the Uchiha clan had been "on the outs" as Shisui had first explained to Itachi (though, of course, Itachi had already known this, being the ever observant child that he was). The clan had been given its right to govern itself, making Fugaku essentially the clan's own personal Hokage, however the separation only fueled the suspicions both sides were harboring. Fugaku needed a spy (though he'd never actually name what he was doing spying) in the Hokage's ranks, and he needed one fast if he was going to settle the ever growing anger of his clan members. So it was decided, with little hiding his true intentions, that Itachi would work in the most dangerous and difficult faction in the village to provide information to the clan.

It was the night before Itachi's first day, and instead of sleeping Itachi was sitting on his bed sighing as a distraught Shisui paced by the bed without speaking for 100th time that night.

"Will you either come to bed or leave?" Itachi asked, too tired and nervous for his best friend's antics tonight.

Itachi had never, not once since they met asked him to leave before. Shisui let the hurt bleed into his eyes. "You want me to leave, Tachi? Is that what you want?!" He was growing more impatient by the second. He knew Itachi was going into Anbu the next day, and Itachi knew that he knew, but had yet to so much as mention it in the three weeks since the decision had been made. Now it was too late for him to back out, and he still couldn't come out and say it.

"No, you know that's not what I want but you're making a track on my floor, and if you don't keep your voice down you'll wake someone." Itachi said, lying down with a huff.

Fine then, if he wasn't going to say something Shisui would. But how could he word this as to not cause an argument bad enough that they ended up having to go outside to settle it? With a forced calming sigh, Shisui started. "Look, Tachi. I know you're going into Anbu tomorrow."

He peeked at Itachi while still pacing. "So? My missions will be secret, not my joining" Itachi deadpanned. His face betrayed no emotion, even to Shisui. He was getting better at hiding himself.

Shisui had to take several more calming breaths before he could continue. "I know you're exceptional, you're you after all. But I also know how dangerous and difficult your missions will be."

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"Well, yeah... But, I'm still worried though. And for what? Just to make your father happy? Just to spy for the clan? If you died just for their arrogance..." Shisui found himself unable to finish.

After several long moments of silence he finally glanced up at Itachi, stopping in front of the bed right in front of him. When he looked down, Itachi was giving him a look like he had just spoken some strange alien language. "What's that look for?"

Itachi sighed and sat up, patting the bed for Shisui to sit next to him. Though he felt too restless still, Shisui complied and looked Itachi straight in the eye, noticing too much about the beautiful features his world revolved around as Itachi spoke. "I'm not doing this for the clan, exactly. Or really for my father either. They're a part of my reasons, but not the biggest."

Confused, Shisui nodded for him to continue. "Do you remember that training exercise a few years ago? When we fought those Foundation Anbu?" Again, Shisui nodded. "You said that a true shinobi protects peace from within its shadow. That's what I'm doing, Shisui. That's why. I'm not doing this for the clan, or father. I'm doing this for the peace of the village, for the villagers, for the Hokage, for Sasuke," He cupped a hand on Shisui's cheek. "For you. I'm going to protect everyone the only way I know how. The way you taught me."

They sat there like that for a long time, with Itachi's hand on his face and their eyes meeting. Shisui was trying to take in what he told him, and failing. All he could focus on was that Itachi remembered the exact words he'd spoken years ago and based this life altering decision on it. That, and Itachi's soft hand on his now burning cheek. There was so much he wanted to say to that. He wanted to continue and try to change his mind, because it was dangerous and he didn't want to lose the only person he had that mattered. He wanted to congratulate him, because this was a HUGE accomplishment and he was very proud of him. He wanted to cry and hug him for taking his words so seriously, for thinking so highly of him.

Yes, there were so many things Shisui wished to say to Itachi in the moment, but he was Shisui so he simply broke the silence with: "Ya know, Tachi, with a mask on and your hair as long as it is now, everyone will think you're a girl." He laughed at himself for it, but it was too forced on a dry throat.

Itachi looked disappointed about something, and dropped his hand a little too abruptly. "Can we sleep now, Shisui?" he said dryly, lying down and turning away from him.

Shisui sat there and stared at the back of Itachi's form for a long time, taking in everything. The pale pristine skin of his bicep that would be marked tomorrow, the crow black hair in a loose pony tail grown out simply because he once said that it suited Itachi. The beginnings of a muscular and manly back, bare to his view and still somehow free of scars. His eyes raked down to the curving dimples forming just above his growing glutes. He knew what he felt for Itachi, and had for almost two years now. Being as advanced as he himself was for his 13 years, he worked with Ninja much older than himself and had learned more than he probably should've about their sex lives. He knew what he was feeling was more than just his hormones going rampant, but he still dismissed it as such. Even if Itachi ever felt something similar for him, he wouldn't be ready for that for a long time. Shisui wasn't even sure if he himself was ready.

With another long, drawn out sigh, he reached down a flipped up the ponytail next to Itachi's head. A silent apology that obviously was accepted because Itachi rolled over to look up at him. Shisui was all too tempted to trail his eyes down the forming muscles of his flat abdomen, but refrained and chose to look at his eyes instead, trying to ignore the beautiful features of his face, softened in a way they only were for Shisui.

That seemed to be a mistake however, because what he found in Itachi's eyes was a longing that Shisui tried to convince himself he was imagining. He blinked a couple of times, trying to dispel the illusion and clear his mind. But when he looked back at the onyx windows to Itachi's soul, it was still there. Shisui locked his muscles, fighting with all of his self control to not give in to his desires.

Itachi seemed to be waiting for something to happen and when it didn't, he reached up to cup Shisui's cheek once again. Shisui witnessed the black bleed into red, fully matured Sharingan. When Itachi spoke it was only a whisper. "Do you remember the day I got these?" Shisui could only nod, in a trance of Itachi's eyes and his hand on his cheek and in remembrance. He tried to keep his face blank, but he wasn't as good at hiding himself as Itachi was, so he knew he looked somewhat shocked.

Itachi slowly sat up, as if he was afraid of making any sudden movements. When he finally dropped his hand, his face was close enough that Shisui could feel his breath tickle is cheek. Shisui's mind was never blank. He may not have been as smart or analytical as Itachi, but he was still a genius who had an inhumane amount of responsibility on his shoulders. However, he found that in that moment, his mind was completely blank of all things except the boy in front of him. If you had asked him his name, he might have told you, if he could speak at all, that it was Itachi, because Itachi was all that was left in the world anymore.

Sharingan still activated, Itachi leaned in and tentatively, unbearably slow, placed his lips against Shisui's. Shisui's lips moved on their own, melding to Itachi's as his eyes closed. The kiss started innocently enough, but too quickly, Shisui put every trick he'd learned from his veritable senpais into it. He used his tongue to prod at Itachi's lips, silently asking to enter. Itachi of course, complied. With a sigh into his mouth, he parted his lips and a too sloppy and too inexperienced dance for dominance began with their tongues. A smile crept between him when he tasted dango on the other's tongue. Shisui found his hands moving to the very back he was admiring moments ago, sliding down to the forming dimples of muscle. He urgingly pushed so that Itachi skooted onto his lap, legs bent at the knee at Shisui's right side, bottom in between his legs.

Itachi caught on quickly, being who he was, and moved his hands to lock into Shisui's curls, pulling himself closer into the slightly bigger boy's chest. Shisui knew he had to stop this, Itachi didn't know where this could lead as far as he was aware, and he could already feel his hardness struggling in his pants, against the side of Itachi's thigh. So he broke the kiss, and cradled Itachi his arms, holding onto the boy he loved for dear life.

They were both panting now, and Itachi laid his head in the crook of Shisui's throat and slowly nuzzled it, creating an electricity there that went straight to his groin. Shisui let out a throaty chuckle. The face that looked up at him was one he'd seen many times, pouting, testing to see if he was being mocked, though he never was.

"You really know how to win a fight, Tachi." He kept chuckling softly as he pressed his lips to the younger boy's forehead.

"We were fighting?" He blinked back.

"Well maybe not exactly..." He moved Itachi off of him, careful not to brush the problem in his pants and placed him next to him on the bed. Itachi kept looking at him with hurt in his eyes. "What's that look for?" Itachi was surprising him at every turn tonight.

Itachi looked away, ashamed. A sudden surge of guilt and panic coursed through Shisui's veins. Itachi had started the kiss, sure, but he probably just wanted to peck him like the night he had mentioned. Dammit, he knew he was taking it too far. Itachi was probably scarred for life now.

He was about about to apologize when Itachi's voice broke through him. "Did you not like it? Did I not do it right?" He finally looked at Shisui, hiding himself again, completely blank faced again, other than the slight wrinkle between his eyebrows.

With too wide eyes, he stuttered, "W-what? I mean... I mean yeah..." He couldn't help the smile that was creeping onto his face now. "I liked it too much really."

"Then why did you stop?"

Okay, wasn't expecting that one. He was quickly losing all semblance of control of this situation now. "Tachi..." He sighed. He didn't know exactly how to explain that without sounding like a pervert to his little cousin. He was cursing himself for ever allowing the kiss in the first place now. Itachi couldn't have known what he was feeling at that moment, or where it could have led. He knew Itachi was a stronger shinobi than most adults already, he was entering into the Anbu the next day for God's sake. He also knew how Itachi's mind worked, how it always had. He was more mature and more logical in his thought process than the Third probably ever was, but that didn't mean he knew about sex yet. Other than that one talk they'd had years and years ago about babies, they'd never discussed anything like that. No, he was almost positive, even if he knew what sex was, he didn't truly understand it.

His mind took a turn for a moment. Though this WAS Itachi he was dealing with, so maybe he did understand it. But even so, such things as desire were far beneath someone like Itachi, he decided. But that still didn't explain the kiss. He had to figure out what this all meant so he could put a stop to it, or least stall it for a couple of years. But how to do that without sounding pervy or mean? Shisui found himself at a complete loss for the first time in his life. Nobody ever stumped an Uchiha, let alone Shisui Uchiha, but here was his eleven year old best friend, reducing his mind to useless soup.

This all went through his mind in a matter of moments, and he was still stumped, so he decided to wave it off and say they should sleep and if that didn't work he'd reduce himself to running away for the night. He nodded internally, resigned in his decision.

"Tachi," He started again.

"-Don't you want me?"

Shit, this kid was good at throwing his will and logic out of the window. "W-want you? I-I don't know what you mean." It was now Shisui's turn to look down, his hands suddenly very interesting.

Itachi sighed as if he was talking to a child. "I already started training for Anbu, last week." Shisui only nodded, thinking that this was just to show how mature he was. "And my age, my skill set, I'll probably have to go on seduction missions." Itachi continued.

Seduction missions? Now that really wasn't something Shisui had ever considered. A sudden flash of anger clouded his mind. He was so angry that Fugaku would allow his 11 year old to do something this dangerous again, he completely abandoned trying to decipher Itachi's words.

At Shisui's silence and non-understanding face, Itachi sighed and continued, trying to get his cousin to figure out what he was trying to say without having to say it. "So they taught me all about..." He took a deep breath and looked at Shisui's still oblivious face. He mildly wondered if he was even paying attention. "...sex."

At that, Shisui's wide eyes flew up to his. Itachi nodded, his pout on his face again. "I had to study everything about it. With women... And men." Itachi explained.

In a flash, Shisui was on his feet in front of Itachi, his hands clamped on his shoulders almost painfully, his eyes searching at Itachi's. Through gritted teeth his whispered, "What in the fuck did they do to you? Itachi Uchiha, what did they do?"

Itachi met his eyes squarely, secretly satisfied he elicited such a reaction, and also secretly cursing himself for leading his cousin to the wrong conclusion. "Nobody touched me, Shisui," he deadpanned and was relieved when Shisui loosened his grip and shot down to his knees in front of him.

"Thank God, you fuckin' scared me, Tachi," he sighed with his eyes closed then looked up at him again. "So is that why you...?"

"I'm not an idiot, Shisui. I had a feeling it was something like that, the way you look at me when you think I don't notice. The signals for attraction I learned last week only confirmed it." He explained in a slightly arrogant but altogether Itachi way.

Shisui chuckled without humor. "Am I that obvious?"

"Dilated pupils, sweat on the brow, prolonged eye contact, the need for physical contact, like when you kiss my forehead in the morning or hold me at night," he explained.

Shisui found his heart racing in nerves, he was about to ask if the kiss was just some kind of test, if he wanted him to leave, but then something clicked in his mind. "Hold it, Tachi. You keep the eye contact just as much as I do, when I kiss your forehead, not only don't you pull away, but your forehead, it's sweaty. Not only do you let me hold you, you hold me too. You... You always have."

Itachi only nodded, as if these things were obvious and this revelation was a normal one for two distant cousins, two boys to be having. He smirked up at the younger boy, who seemed way too comfortable with the direction this night had taken. "So let me get this straight, you just learned about sex last week, for Anbu missions you may or may not have to go on?" Itachi nodded. "And your first thought was to try it with me?" Itachi, face still its odd tan color, nodded again.

Shisui mulled this over for a few moments, getting up and sitting on the bed next Itachi again. He chuckled a real laugh this time. "Well, my answer is no."

Hurt-filled pout.

"Ah-ah-ah." Shisui wagged his finger. "Don't give me that look. Just because I'm saying no tonight doesn't mean no forever." Itachi continued his pout but a little hope seeped into his eyes. "I'm thirteen... So how about we wait til you are too." He offered, compromising more with his own desire, than with Itachi.

Itachi pondered this as he did all things the older Uchiha said, and after a moment his face fell into one of utter sadness. Shisui gave him a confused look. "If you want me to be thirteen..." Shisui nodded. "Is that because, you've already..." He trailed off.

Without really meaning to, he burst out a huge laugh, biting his hand to keep the noise down, and fell back on the bed. "No, Itachi, who would I even...?" He peeked an eye open at a smiling Itachi.

"I've seen you with that girl on your team." Itachi blushed at this.

His lover took quick note that _this_ of all things made him blush.

"Huh? Oh you mean Nanami?" Shisui had to tightly clamp his hand on his mouth to hold in his boisterous laughs now. "Tachi you're the smartest person I know, how could you have such a stupid thought?" He took a calming breath, little puffs of laughter still came through as he spoke. "She's my friend, yeah. I mean, she's important to me, I might even call her a best friend at this point..." He allowed himself to think back to the last year of Team Shisui. Yes, he'd call her a dear friend. And he knew that she was in love with him, but she'd also been the one to tell him that he didn't just love Itachi. She was the first and as far as he knew the only one who knew that he was absolutely, unbearably in love with Itachi. Even with her own feelings, she'd helped him realize his feelings, because she wanted him to be happy. He respected her for that, because he knew if Itachi never wanted him, he would do the same. "You don't see it do you?"

"See what, Shisui?" Itachi groaned, all eleven year old for once.

He reached up and flipped Itachi's ponytail. "I'm in love with you, you stupid genius." Itachi looked like he was about to say something in return, but Shisui pulled him into chest and kissed him firmly on the lips. "Sleep now, Tachi. Big day tomorrow."

Itachi looked as if he just now remembered what tomorrow would bring. "Yeah..." He breathed, settling his head on Shisui's chest.

* * *

The last year of Anbu was much easier than Itachi had originally thought, which was a slightly unnerving thought. Though he hated every minute of killing, it came as naturally as breathing to him now. His captain, Kakashi seemed to think it was the darkness in his heart that caused this seeming comfort in killing. He could see that it was indeed darkness that fueled Kakashi's heart, but he knew he was different. With every kill he saw Sasuke's smiling, living face. He saw Shisui, laughing and swimming in their river. He saw the peace and the lack of another war for the entire village. This knowledge allowed him to kill without a second thought.

All that being said, he still ended up throwing up at night more often than not, with Shisui's hands combing comfortingly through his sweat and blood filled hair. For this reason, among others, he took to sleeping at Shisui's one room apartment more often than not when he was in the village.

He never told Shisui about his missions, of course, except for one. Six months ago, when he was half a year in and everyone started to trust him, he was inducted into the routine of spying on the Uchiha. They knew of course, including Shisui, about the spying. Shisui understood though, without Itachi having to say it, that they probably needed to be watched. On the outside they were both the perfect clan members, one even being the spy for the clan. But on the inside, both could notice the arrogance the clan possessed. And arrogance in their world was a very dangerous thing. Wars have been started and lost just for someone's ego, countless times. And it seemed to both of them the clan was moving ever closer to starting such a war.

Shisui may not have been a spy as Itachi was, but he was trusted by the Third, if none of the other elders, and also trusted as second best in the clan, next to Itachi. They, as in all things, wanted the same thing. They both wanted peace, and not just for the Uchiha, as was expected of the clan's two prodigies. Just the same, not just for the village, as was expected of Itachi the Anbu and Shisui the teleporter.

They discussed this all often, when they were alone and Itachi was done throwing up, and tucking the faces of more dead people into the little red box in his head. Shisui would bring him mouthwash and usually some kind of sweet, and they'd lay on his small futon, speaking of the grizzly present and a hopeful future. The night would usually end with kissing and some desperate hands clawing at each other, until Shisui would always pull away with a "Sleep now, Tachi."

Tonight however, Shisui didn't stop Itachi's hand as it drifted lower and lower, finally finding itself at Shisui's bulging pants. It was still 5 months until Itachi was 13, and it wasn't like Shisui to go against his word, especially in this area. There had never been any compromise to his rules, not touching that could be read as sexual at all, just kissing and holding. So getting away with these few touches now was making Itachi's head spin. He never got to truly let himself go, ever, unless he was in Shisui's arms. The world didn't matter in these arms, not to Itachi.

Itachi decided to push his luck further, tracing feather touches over Shisui's hip, daringly brushing the hidden hardness every couple of circles. When a low moan was released into his mouth, Itachi grew bolder still, moving down to nip at his lover's pulse line and rub an open palm over the hardening bulge under the fleece of his lover's sleep pants.

"Tachi..." Shisui moaned before his body stiffened. "Tachi, no." he said unconvincingly.

Itachi smirked into his neck, moving his fingers subtly under the elastic of his waistband. "Try that again, Shisui?" he said against hot skin before biting down, causing a beautiful yelp from the man next to him.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, Tachi." Shisui said in an unusually serious tone.

"All the more reason then." He pushed his hand in further, barely brushing the furnace hot tip before his hand was pulled away. He pouted up at his best friend/cousin/lover.

"We're being sent to the Mist..." Shisui's eyes were red with his sharingan, activated with the lust Itachi had made him feel.

"So it'll be a couple weeks then?" He whispered, saddened, but not at all really shocked. They were shinobi after all. He reached up and kissed the broad nose of his first and only love.

"Months." He froze. The word seemed to echo through the room, stabbing him in the very soul every time it came back to his ears. A searing panic went through him. The clan and the village were getting ever more strained for each other with each passing day. A few weeks would be hard to manage without Shisui, but months? What would their world look like when he came back to him? A lot could happen in a few months, and judging by Shisui's scowl, they both shared this thought.

The silence that settled between them felt like ice as they measured each other. Itachi saw a fear in Shisui's eyes he hadn't seen since they were children soldiers in the war. So the mission would be dangerous then? Could it be that bad? Or did he worry for Itachi? He hated when he couldn't read his friend's emotions like a book. He hated not knowing what he was thinking.

"When I come back, Itachi, I don't know what everything will look like when I do... But when I come back, we will find a way to put an end to all this, I just know it." He peppered kisses all over the boy's face. "And when I come back, I'll have you." He whispered, finally reaching his lips and giving him the sweetest of kisses, all love and passion and promise for the peace they both wanted, and a promise for the adventure they'll share. "I love you, Tachi."

"I love you, Shis..." The world faded to black as a pressure point was squeezed on the back of this neck.

Itachi couldn't see it as Shisui moved him and kissed his forehead, with tears in his eyes. Terrified of what would become of Itachi without him. He didn't hear it when Shisui told him "Sleep now, Tachi." for what he hoped wasn't the last time.

Shisui got dressed silently and stole one last glance of what his world revolved around before making a hand sign and fading into the living room of his teammate.

Nanami, dressed in her jonin gear, quickly rushed up to his crying form the second he appeared. "We've never been apart this long," he confessed as she combed his curls with her fingers.

"Sh, sh, sh. We'll be fine. You'll be fine." She tried. They both knew that the Bloody Mist village was going through a veritable genocide at the moment. That this would be the most difficult and dangerous mission they'd ever been on.

"What will happen to him though?" He whispered more to himself than to her.

She looked confused. She'd of course met Itachi a few times, but he always seemed that emotionless shell that Uchiha elite were. He was Anbu, but as far as she knew he had a perfect record. From all this, she knew he'd still be there when they got back. She gave him a look to continue.

"Tachi hides in himself all the time. He... He never shows anything to anyone except for me. I think with me is the only time he feels okay, if he's ever happy, well I don't know that... But if I can't give him that... What will happen to him?" He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to calm himself.

"Does he know how much you love him?" She asked, grabbing her katana from the wall.

"I.. I think so. I tell him I do, and I try to show it and stuff." He sniffled.

"Then he'll be okay," she said with a smile.

"He'll be okay." He tried as he followed her out of her house. Her long brown hair swaying as she walked. He felt slightly better, talking about Itachi to the only person who knew about them, but even still, she didn't know what they were both going through. Nanami was a talented kunoichi, almost as good as Shisui himself, but she wasn't from a shinobi clan, so she'd never been pressured to become what she was. She also was only just vaguely aware that there was any problems brewing under the surface of the Uchiha and the village. She had no idea that he truly had reason to be terrified about leaving Itachi alone to deal with all of this.

But a mission was a mission, so they quickly made their way to their teammates and went over the checklist. Within an hour were out of the village, running through the trees as fast as his teammates could manage, on their way to another brewing war they had to stop.

Wait for me, Tachi. Just wait.


	6. The Mission

**Ah, now we're at the mission :) I took some liberties with it, as we don't ever find out what happened on this mission, really. Enjoy dark!Shisui!**

* * *

 **Itachi, Day one.**

As he opened his eyes to dawn's light flickering its way through the half destroyed blinds of Shisui Uchiha's one room apartment, Itachi found himself feeling much older than his 12 years. His entire body ached, but nothing was really ailing him. Shisui was gone. Shisui had left him without saying goodbye. And Shisui would not return for what looked to be a very, very long time.

Itachi tried to tell himself that he was used to it, they left each other for missions all the time, and had done so since he was 8. He tried to tell himself that this gaping hole in his chest was unreasonable and he had no reason to panic about his best friend leaving, for it was just a mission. A mission to protect him and the rest of Konoha, just as Itachi left on missions to do the same. He tried to tell himself that Shisui was even more amazing than himself, so he'd come back unharmed. Shisui was so amazing he'd probably come back early, laughing at everyone's praise and scratching his neck uncomfortably at being called a genius. Itachi almost smiled even, imagining his goofy lackadaisical laugh when he'd surprise Itachi at being home early.

Itachi was the best liar he knew, fooling his entire clan for months, fooling his little brother every time he saw him. And yet, he found that he couldn't fool himself. He knew, in his blind and lovesick way that Shisui would come home alive. But he also knew, in his logical and shinobi way, the kind bred from instincts that let him survive as a four year old soldier, that Shisui would not be okay when he returned.

He also knew he wouldn't hear that laugh, nor see that smile, nor feel that calming touch for several months. Itachi had accepted at a young age, though he would never tell anyone, that he was selfish. Not selfish in a way that most men were, as he would gladly give his life for what he loved and believed in. He was selfish in allowing himself that safe place, where he could peel back the layers of protection he always had surrounding himself and truly be Itachi, a boy who could laugh and smile and joke. His selfishness, his vice, was Shisui Uchiha and everything he embodied.

And now that vice, that safe place, was gone.

And there was a mission to complete today, and espionage to live through, and a little brother whom he'd been ignoring; so he sat up, smelled Shisui's pillow one last time, and reapplied the defensive walls everyone knew to be his personality.

He would tuck himself away, until Shisui was back to unwrap him again.

 **Shisui, Day Five.**

The travel to the Land of Water had taken twice the time it would have had he'd been alone, but he didn't mention this. He never mentioned when he was better at something. He was never arrogant, on the outside. As they approached the shore the boat became so enshrouded in mist that not even his Sharingan could penetrate it.

With a sigh, and a smirk he commented, "This is gonna be a long mission guys, hope you like getting wet." He winked and nudged Nanami's arm.

The kunoichi swiftly threw a punch at him he could have dodged. "Shisui-kun, you idiot! This is a serious A-rank assignment, do you have to joke about everything!?"

Her hilarious and violent, though never serious, temper and her allowance for his brush-it-aside attitude were the reasons he came to love Nanami as a person. Bickering with her always seemed to distract him just enough that he didn't have to feel what was really in his heart. So, the pair bickered, basically ignoring the other two tying the boat to the dock. His other teammates, though important enough to protect as part of the mission, didn't matter much to either of them.

Once they were off the boat though, they both shifted seamlessly to cold and calculating. This easy change is why they were both so easy at catching enemies off guard, one moment they could laugh and joke and be idiots, and in the next moment they could be cold and hard. They could be killers.

The feeling he had in his gut told him that this indeed would be a very long mission.

 **Itachi, Day Five.**

"Nii-san!" Screamed by a child who always looked at him with such adoration became his new vice, it wasn't as fulfilling as the one tucked away, but it touched his soul in a different, more powerful way. He knew he had been neglecting Sasuke, and he truly felt sorry for this. Sasuke was just as much a light as Shisui, and he was the one who, in his first day on this planet, taught him what love meant.

But with Sasuke came darkness, being home more not only meant being with Sasuke, but also his parents and his clan. He could no longer ignore through the lens of a telescope his Mother's tired, swollen eyes, nor his Father's new wrinkles. He couldn't avoid the sordid innuendos to spying his father would wrap up in warm fatherly advice about his career.

But Itachi was a different person without is vice, he was the shell of a person everyone knew him as. He was no longer selfish, he couldn't be, for there was no longer anything here for him to cling to selfishly. So he sat through his Father's scolding about not having enough information to report. He observed his once strong and proud Mother cower in a fear he knew no one else could see when she was with her husband.

He also noticed on the fifth day how Fugaku looked at Sasuke, as if he was a problem he couldn't solve, instead of a child who was pure and the very embodiment of love. So Itachi made in that moment the decision to spend this time in his darkness, giving the child what he so desperately needed.

That night, he even asked his Father to let him take Sasuke paw print collecting as they had done so many times when he was young. But Fugaku simply said it would be a waste of an Anbu's time, and if they needed weapons they could send a genin from a branch family, not the jewel of the clan.

Itachi went back to sleeping in Shisui's bed that night.

 **Shisui, Day Thirty.**

So far Team Shisui had only encountered small skirmishes in towns near the shores of the main island. They had to be careful and ensure that none of their actions could be conveyed as an act of war, though truth be told the entire nature of this mission was to stop the Mist themselves from starting a war. The information they had gathered so far led them to believe that the Mist would soon send a small battalion towards the Land of Fire, but they hadn't been able to uncover which port they would use to leave or where they would land when they got to the main continent.

Reaching a wall in their mission so soon had managed to put them all in a foul mood, even Shisui. The only Shinobi they ever encountered were at most of Chunin rank, so even when Shisui would use genjutsu to get all of their secrets, they didn't know much to begin with.

"We've been here this long and haven't encountered a single Jonin! If they're really trying to start a war, why are we only finding more brats?!" Nanami flamed today.

Shisui mulled this over. Even if they weren't trying to start a war, it was still very weird to not have so much as spotted a single Elite Shinobi anywhere they went. This could either mean that the information they received was wrong and all of their Jonin were already in the land of Fire or that they were all at home, waiting for the war call.

Either way, there was only one thing they could do. Begrudgingly, he made the order. "We're gonna have to go the Bloody Mist village then. See what we can find out there." It was a risk he had been adamantly been avoiding since they arrived, but they were out of options if they wanted to stop the seeds of war in time.

The solemn nods from his teammates told him that they shared his apprehension. Shisui summoned a hawk and wrote out the code telling the Hokage how the mission had changed. After a moments hesitation he summoned a second hawk and scribbled a few words before sending it off as well, it was all he could do. Silently, they all made their way towards the most terrifying village in the world.

 **Itachi, Day Thirty-two.**

Life seemed to be back to normal now, Itachi still went to Shisui's as if he was there waiting for him. Though he still lied about the number of missions he had, he spent more time with Sasuke. Today, in fact, he went to scare away a giant boar from a nearby village and let Sasuke tag along. When the boy had missed his target, Itachi was forced to kill the poor beast to protect his brother. Though Itachi hated killing, he conceded that it was still a better mission than killing a person as he usually does, to protect his village.

He even offered to train Sasuke with his bow when they got back. When Sasuke was finally hitting all of his targets, the smile he gave Itachi reminded him so much of Shisui that he had to leave before he either start crying to the boy or caught him in a bone-crushing hug.

After making his excuses to Sasuke (and poking him on the forehead as a silent "I love you") and his mother, he slipped through the compound, as to avoid the cameras that he knew the locations of, to Shisui's apartment. When he walked inside, he still said "I'm home." as though there was someone waiting. He expected silence, instead he heard a small scratching at the glass of Shisui's window.

With all of the caution that was bred into him, he approached the window, only to be surprised by one of Shisui's hawks waiting to come inside. He let the fear seep in for a few moments, hoping with his entire soul this wasn't bad news. The animal knew him, so it gracefully stepped onto his waiting arm and rubbed its' little face on his hair when he lifted it up to get the scroll on its leg.

Only after feeding the bird and releasing the summons did he allow himself to read the note. He wouldn't allow even animals to see his true self.

His breath hitched and the first full smile broke on his face since the night Shisui left, when he was done decoding the missive.

"Green Dinosaur."

Where ever Shisui was, he was thinking of him. Itachi fell asleep with a smile, thinking of him too.

 **Shisui, Day Thirty-five.**

They were being cautious approaching the overgrown walls of the Mist Village.

They had been cautious when they entered the outer forest surrounding this side of the village.

They were cautious since they first appeared in this country.

But that didn't matter. Not one little fucking bit.

The moment they were close enough to see the village there was an onslaught of shiruken coming from every direction and a mist so thick it could never have been natural shrouded all around them.

Shisui immediately activated his Sharingan, but it was useless. The Sharingan could see chakra as colors, but the mist itself was chakra, so all he could see was the sickening green color of the user's chakra. With all the instinct of a veteran Jonin, Shisui easily deflected every shuriken thrown his direction with his short sword. Even if he was blind, he was still the fastest since the Fourth, so no attack could touch him.

He had to find his team members. Defending was fine, but even he would eventually get tired and that would fall right into the enemy's plan. He couldn't attack what he couldn't find, and one of the other males on his team, Tomaki, was a sensory type ninja. But how had they gotten this separated?! He could just barely make out the grunts of the guys, and the battle cries of Nanami, but their voices were to drowned out with the sounds of metal meeting.

A blood curdling scream echoed through the mist. 'Kyou...' he sighed internally. The shuriken weren't letting up, though, and in the next moment he heard the all too familiar sound of metal ripping through flesh and the gurgling of someone choking on blood. A brief moment of panic hit him, as a falter in the onslaught of weapons followed.

With a chest full of relief he heard Nanami cursing to his right, and the metal of her katana against a shuriken. 'So it had been Tomaki then.' He allowed himself a split second to mourn the loss of his teammates, as the shuriken all but came to a hault. Now the real battle would begin.

He could finally pinpoint where Nanami was; with a hand sign he faded into form beside her, and was about to make a clever remark about something unimportant when he stopped dead in his tracks.

She was looking up at him with terrified bloodshot eyes, her mouth choking on water. His Sharingan told him that she was drowning from the inside out. The sickly green color of the mist was swirling around in her chest, she was dying. A blind rage enclosed him as he flitted from sound to sound, his other senses suddenly clearer, working on every sense but sight (the most terrifying way for an Uchiha to fight) as he tore his short sword through every enemy he could find. The faintest breath of the enemy, and he was on them before the next could be drawn, not looking away as he watched the light draw out of their eyes. He wanted to remember the faces of those who had dared to hurt what was precious to him.

Suddenly it became all to quiet, he formed himself beside Nanami again, hoping to have killed the jutsu caster, hoping to have spared her life. He was just in time to see her strangle for that last attempted breath, just as he heard more enemies approaching.

"Shi..." And she was gone.

Everything went red for a moment, the blood on his face mixed with his own, trailing from his eyes. A logical part of his brain was telling him he had awakened his Mangekyo, told him to calm down and assess the situation, to think of the mission. He had to think of a war he might start if he wasn't calm.

But all he could see was her dead face engraved into his mind by the Sharingan and all he could feel was a power he'd never known before coursing through his eyes.

The mist had cleared just enough for him to see the outlines of about 30 Shinobi circling him, they seemed to think he was dead or wounded, they barely looked guarded. But he was exceptional and they didn't know.

But they would.

His new eyes pulsed, begging to be used as he stood up slowly, feigning injury. They all looked into his eyes as he slowly turned. He smirked at them. Oh, they didn't know. But they would. "Die!" He ordered as he lunged between two of them, ignoring the blood streaming from his eye, Nanami's katana in hand. An evil smile made its' way on to his face as he plunged her katana in the one on his left, and slashed his short sword through the the throat of the one on his right.

In the next moment, every single shinobi in the small clearing pulled a kunai and dug it into their own throats, blood spraying everywhere, covering him, anointing him. He stood in awe of the blood, swirling and pooling at his feet. The mist was cleared now, and the enemies were all dead. A laugh slipped through his lips as more blood leaked from is right eye. He didn't have time to comprehend the course of events though, as his right eye brought him a burning, stabbing pain that resonated through his very soul. Before everything could fade to black, he instinctively made the sign and blurred into the cave his team had departed from that morning.

He collapsed on his knees and dropped his sword. 'What have I done?!' he screamed in his head, trying as hard as he could to remain conscious, but the pain was proving too much. He might have just single-handedly started a war. But the last thing that ran through his head before the blackness consumed him was, 'And why did I like it? Tachi, I liked it so much... 'Tachi...'

He fell asleep with a smile.

 **Itachi, Day Thirty-Nine.**

This day was like any other for an Anbu genius. He received his A-rank mission, a solo one, and swiftly carried it out as if a machine. Upon his return he made his report to the Hokage and Kakashi-taichou, and went by his parent's house to give his excuse for not helping Sasuke with his target practice.

The moment he saw Sasuke, he poked him on the brow and simply said he must go prepare for his next mission. This time, he didn't smile at the boy, who so innocently pouted back at him. He loved this boy more than life itself, but his light was gone and he couldn't smile anymore.

He killed three children this day, one almost identical to Sasuke himself.

And he could not fall apart, even when he was alone.

There was no one left to put him back together again.

Itachi spent the rest of the night sitting on the bank of their river, staring at the moon.

'Shisui...'

 **Shisui, Day Forty-eight.**

The new three members of his team finally made it to the shores of the harbor town he'd been hiding in since the night he had lost control. They were all male, and all older than him, and he didn't try to remember their names.

His mind kept going back to that night, to Nanami's face, to the blood, to his laughter.

There was still no end in sight for this mission, and he couldn't find it in himself to care. He wanted them dead. He wanted them all dead.

He couldn't let himself care. There was no one here to make him remember that he was a person.

'Tachi...'

"They've mobilized to the Land of Fire, Taichou. We're just here to regroup with you, and move our efforts to the enemy." A grey haired Nin pulled him out of his thoughts. So he would get to see more of them, hm?

"Alright, we leave now," he ordered, swiftly forming himself on the boat they had just exited.

"But we just-" It was a different one this time. Shisui felt the Sharingan evolve in his eyes and didn't stop it.

"Now," he ordered again and the new Team Shisui complied, eyeing each other nervously as they set sail from where they had just been.

'Let's see what you can do, Mist.' He sneered in his head, another wicked smile cracking his face. The thought is so all consuming he does not think of the boy with the long, silky ponytail he loves, again.

 **Itachi, Day Ninety-eight.**

Every day brings a new mission he practically begs for. He's killed 49 people since he's been alone, and hasn't let himself feel a single drop of emotion.

He watches the Uchiha as if a stranger when he's on watch duty.

He doesn't go to his house anymore.

He can't face Sasuke, for the boy might see the darkness in his soul threatening to consume him.

Itachi finally cracks, on his fifth sleepless night, and sends a crow to Shisui, with a simple note he wrote in perfect script.

'Can't sleep now, Shisui.'

It's a simple confession, but the weight of it pulls off of his chest as if it was connected to the crow flying away. He knows it will take the crow a long time to reach Shisui, but he needed to tell him something.

It was really rather stupid of him to interrupt Shisui's mission like that, he's never done that before. But there's a gnawing feeling in his gut that won't leave him. It reminds him of the one he'd get when Shisui would cry in the days after the war, even when they weren't together.

Itachi knows Shisui the best, after all.

With a sigh, he packs what little emotion that slipped out back in the little red box in his head.

He decides to challenge himself until Shisui's return, to be a perfect brother. He's always been pushing himself farther and farther, trying to be the perfect Shinobi. This can't be much different can it?

He quickly makes his stoically to Sasuke.

 **Shisui, Day One Hundred and Forty-two.**

Shisui's made a name for himself now. His team's only job has become finding the enemy shinobi. He lays genjutsu traps everywhere, and when the screams come, he leaves his team in a blur to tear through flesh as if it were paper.

They only know of his teleportation abilities, dubbing him Shisui the Teleporter. He laughs when he hears this, and his teammates all look uncomfortable. He knows he's slipping, and he tries desperately to regain who he once was, but the hatred seems too much and he can't remember why he was ever so happy in this life as a shinobi.

It gets worse when the enemy is stupid enough to look into his eyes. The pulsing power beckons him, and he becomes far too amused in seeing what he can make them do. It doesn't matter anymore, he always burns the mutilated bodies afterwards, anyways.

Today, his teammates have told him there's a rather large company of nine Mist ninja in their wake, the commanding unit. Behind them is the small war effort. This is it, this is the end. But Shisui doesn't think of that as he lays the genjutsu traps. He's busy planning what sick and twisted things he'll make them do after they fall for these traps and he makes them look him in the eye. He's become rather fond of making them drown each other, fully conscious of it, before he goes in to finish the rest off.

The sound of a crow cawing over head catches his eye. A brief moment of his former self emerges as the last time he saw the crow feather-haired boy runs through his mind. The crow comfortably lands in front of him on the grass.

The crow does not know what he's become.

The crow is not scared.

A smirk threatens to break on his face as he takes the scroll from the creature's leg. He knows that the boy must be safe, he's the only one who can send crows after all.

He hasn't thought of the boy, or his hair, or the long and tired tear troughs, or his soft lips that kiss him and say his name as if a scripture for some weeks now. He wonders idly if the boy has forgotten him too.

His heart has grown cold with the hatred he's now become entangled with.

'Can't sleep now, Shisui.'

Shisui stairs at the note for an eternity. Every time he's ever said "Sleep now, Tachi." plays in his mind.

His heart is not cold anymore, a long forgotten feeling returns with a long forgotten name.

A branch breaking in the distance breaks him from the trance and he fades back into the distance.

Crossing his arms, he silently debates what to do now. 'What would I have done before?'

He hears the screams and sees the disturbed chakra of three shinobi with his Sharingan.

"Genjustu!?"

"How!?"

A new figure appears with a stronger chakra than the others. 'I may have no choice now...' But the figure's eye evolves. 'Byugukan?' And screams to the rest of squad, and to the ones behind him. "We're retreating! NOW!"

"But Taichou!"

"That's Shisui the Teleporter, come on we're going home!" And the chakra signatures fade out of view.

'Well then... I guess that should keep the Mist at bay for now.' He smirks at this.

'Thank you, Tachi.' he smiles as he forms where his teammates are waiting for him.

They're all taken aback by the lack of blood on his person, and the serene smile on his face. They exchange timid looks among themselves when he laughs a real laugh and tells them, "Come on guys! Let's get the hell outta here! Time to go home." And starts towards home.

 **Itachi, Day One Hundred and Fifty-three.**

Itachi kept true to his challenge to be a perfect brother, the boy needs him as he needs Shisui.

He's spent every moment he can since that decision with this precious life, and somewhat to a shock to himself, he's something close to happy when he's being showered with love by the child.

Today is his birthday and the Third gave him the day off. The day was filled with burnt food and laughing from his tired mother, and his oblivious brother. His father even smirked in the five minutes he joined them. He's almost so happy all day, as he swims in the river with Sasuke, that he forgets Shisui and the promise this day was meant to bring. Almost.

The walk home is pleasant, in the red hue of the setting sun.

And then he sees him, nonchalantly leaning against the walls of the Uchiha outer gate. Smirking and making a sign for river.

With a sign he's gone.

'At last.'

* * *

 **So we stopped at Itachi's birthday :o I wonder what's gonna happen that night?**

 **Keep reading to find out ;)**

 **Let me know what you think! I had some trouble with this chapter, and sorry there's no interaction between them, it was necessary! I'll make up for it next chapter!**

 **And as always thank you to my Betas :D**

 **As always have a great day!**


	7. The First Time

**I finally get to give you all the first warning about adult themes down below. Uchihacest and malexmale... well you should know by now! :D**

 **If you've already read this chapter, sorry! D: I changed it quite a bit, so I decided to repost it entirely.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

The summer sky seemed bluer to him now, the grass and leaves that blurred by him seemed greener, as he raced towards the weasel who owned his soul. On the trip home, Shisui had even managed to joke with them about what they would all do now that they'd be home. One joked about Shisui having a hot date that night, and he couldn't fight the giggle as he scratched the back of his neck. He had been religiously checking the calendar for the last week, as they cleared the area that had been their silent war zone for any traces of the Leaf. He had to make it by the 9th he repeatedly told them, even if they got there at 11:59 that night they had to get there in time.

Being the genius he was, he managed to push his team just enough to get there in the late afternoon. The summer sun was beating down on them as they ran up to the gates, but a calm wind blowing leaves across the dirt path seemed to beckon them home. With a wave to the sentries, they immediately continued to the Hokage tower at the far end of the village.

After a very lengthy debriefing to the council, Shisui had asked to speak to the Third alone. In the last week, encountering some small foreign shinobi teams, he had caught wind that the Uchiha were putting feelers out for help with a possible overshot to power. Thoughts of his nonexistent childhood snapped into his mind with every morsel of information, wrongfully given to whom they assumed was Uchiha Shisui, the loyal Uchiha dog. It took every bit of control he had mustered, focusing on his time crunch and what that would entail, to not snap the Sand-nins necks for assuming he was willing to start a war with his village. The crest on his back meant little to him, though all outward appearances would point otherwise.

He couldn't allow the clan to revolt. He couldn't allow another war. Itachi and himself may live through it, but the thought of Sasuke holding a kunai in his tiny hand just as Itachi had made it an impossibility. He no longer had a family outside of Itachi, but Itachi did. He had Sasuke, and Shisui would be damned if somebody took his world's family away as they had done to his.

And even without Itachi in his mind (though he would never have Itachi out of his mind again, now that he knew where that led him), he was Shisui of the Leaf. The will of fire that he silently endured his superiors scoff at, burned very brightly in his heart. The thought of any children forced to kill to save themselves ripped through his soul. He couldn't allow that.

He had to stop it.

Luckily, the Hokage agreed. He was inadvertently placed as a second spy among the Uchiha, and he would stop it.

* * *

Pushing his thoughts to the side when the Hokage had departed, he rushed to his apartment, hoping to find Itachi. Forming himself inside without further hesitation, he found himself alone, in an immaculate room. He smiled to himself as he realized Itachi had been here very recently, cleaning for him. Itachi had taken up the habit the first time he spent the night, and nearly fell over when attacked with the smell of dirty dishes on the counter and soiled clothes strewn all over the floor.

When he looked over at the overstuffed futon on the floor in the corner, his gut tightened. In a fit of nerves, he immediately went about preparing his tiny abode for what he knew would be the best night of his life. The teen, now 15, was already stocked up on everything he needed, and had sealed it all away in a scroll he had hidden under the kitchen sink.

When he was done, he took a moment to admire his work. Strewn about all around the room, were candles ready to be lit to give the room a nice sweet green tea smell, he hoped would remind Itachi of his favorite treat. The futon had extra pillows he had spent a weirdly high price on, but he guessed they were pretty. He had some sake ready on the low table in the middle of the room (this he had procured on the way to the Bloody Mist, and a lot of complaining on Nanami's part, but he refused to think of this tonight.) By the bed were about 20 varying sized bottles of massage oils and lubricants he had been collecting, he didn't know which one would be best, so he decided to buy every one the various store clerks would allow him to. And in his hand was a small box with a necklace he'd bought nearly a year ago inside. He was ready, he finally realized with a wince that he was probably over prepared for the night, but it was too late now.

The sun would set in an hour, and he still had to take a shower. Or would Itachi want to do that with him? Shaking his head he decided he could always just take another one.

When he was dry and his unruly curls were messed up just right, he put on some civilian clothes, looking in the mirror to see if he looked decent. He changed immediately, the second set he realized were Itachi's as they smelled heavily of wood smoke and citrus. He needed to look manly he decided with a nod in the mirror.

With too-shaky hands, 'Get it together man!' he finally settled on his normal gear for clan missions, opting to bring his short sword to complete the "I haven't been freaking out about this for the last nine days" look.

He went up to his window and perched himself on the sill, pushing out his chakra to scan for Itachi's hoping he was in the compound, so he didn't draw attention with a lengthy, frenzied search. He nearly fell off of his perch when he felt the most serene chakra he'd ever felt for the first time in over five months, making its way towards the outer walls. He enthusiastically made the sign and formed at the entrance.

He tried a raised hand and a goofy smile, but decided it would negate his attempt at manliness. Next, he turned the opposite direction and decided to look over his shoulder when Itachi would see him and make a face like "Oh, didn't see you there, you beautiful creature, you!" but decided he would look too stupid and Itachi would probably just keep walking for the embarrassment. 'When did I get so lame? I'm a jonin! I will keep this together, and be the suave gentlemen Itachi knows me to be!' But even he laughed at himself for that thought. Finally he decided to lean against the wall, his side facing the entrance, his arms crossed, looking nonchalant with a smirk on his face. Yes, now that's what he was going for. He silently high fived himself in his head.

He heard the excited ramblings of his youngest 3rd cousin approaching, and looked up through half closed eyes. 'Suave, cool, sexy.' He chanted in his head, though he could feel his knees shaking as he took in the boy, no man, that had just noticed him.

The crow-haired teenager had grown nearly half a foot in the time that he'd been gone. His arms and chest had filled out more with muscle, and his legs seemed thicker too. Had he really been gone only 5 months? The tear troughs raining down his face were longer as well, more pronounced, but that only added an ethereal beauty to his now squarer jaw and longer, but somehow more delicate nose. Long lashes framed two coal eyes searing with excitement at him, though his face gave nothing away to the little boy at his side.

If he stayed there any longer things would get awkward for poor little Sasuke, so he quickly made the sign for river and faded away, leaving the starstruck love of his life behind.

Again, he decided to go for the stoic, cool persona as he stood with a straight back to the tree line. Shisui stared down at the calm crystal water, willing it to calm his breathing and dry his palms.

Finally, after less than five minutes, an eternity, he heard a slight rustle of leaves.

"We played here a lot as kids." 'Nailed it!' He couldn't help but smirk as the younger man came to stand next to him.

"Yes, I suppose we did." Itachi said it monotonously, but only Shisui could hear the fondness in his tone.

He turned and gave a cheeky grin, betraying himself finally for his joy. He scratched the back of his neck with his left hand as his right dug into the pouch on his backside. He presented a little black box with a kunai pattern inlade on the lid.

"It's nothin' special, just thought you might like it."

The younger of the pair made his pout, to which Shisui giggled, and took the box, gracefully lifting the lid. Before he could comment, Shisui found himself talking faster than he could breath. "They're shuriken, the pendants. I know how Fugaku would get if you came home wearing something that didn't scream 'I'm a great ninja' so I figured shuriken jutsu, shuriken. But if you don't wanna wea-"

"Shisui."

"Hmm?" He peaked one eye open, still startled that they were pretty much the same height now.

"It's good," Itachi calmly admitted, placing the box back in Shisui's still held up hand, and moving his ponytail over shoulder to fasten it behind his neck with deft fingers.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Silence. They stared at each other for a long moment, as the summer breeze blew leaves between them in a delicate dance. They had been a lot of things, but never awkward before, and Shisui was starting to wonder if Itachi had forgotten what was planned for this particular day. 'Maybe I got the date wrong? It's the 9th isn't it? Maybe he changed his mind? Or finally got a girlf-'

All thought stopped as Itachi slammed into him, muscled chest meeting muscled chest. Their lips crashed together as Itachi snaked his arms around Shisui's neck and Shisui dropped the box, all but forgotten and dug his fingers into a hard back. With unhidden desperation, a tongue wedged its' way into the curly haired man's mouth, and teeth grazed his bottom lip. He let a hand slide up Itachi's back and knot itself in silky, meticulously maintained locks.

Itachi was the first to break the kiss, grazing his teeth down his jaw and finally biting down with gusto at his pulse line, hidden behind Shisui's high collar. A little voice in his head told him to stop this before he ripped his little cousin's clothes off right here by the river, but it was quickly silenced when lips closed around the bite mark and sucked violently. His hand, almost of its own accord slid down and squeezed a firm cheek, as his other pulled out the red hair string so he could properly run his fingers through the silken strands.

Itachi's fingernails dug harshly down his back through the thin fabric of his shirt, eliciting the moan he had been trying to suppress. 'Fuck it.' Shisui decided as he pulled his hands away and formed a seal behind Itachi's back, flickering them into his apartment in an instant. If Itachi noticed, he didn't let on. They ended up in the kitchen area Shisui noted as he was slammed against a counter, breaking a few plates that fell from the edge, and he started guiding them towards the futon, grabbing Itachi's hair in both hands and bringing his head up to lock their lips again. Sharingan met Sharingan before they both slid them shut, tongues beginning the dance for dominance they had nearly perfected over every night together in the last two years.

Shisui miscalculated and tripped over the low table, landing on his back and effectively breaking the hard wood. He heard the glass of the sake bottle roll onto the floor, but he didn't care. A cup under his back had shattered and a few shards tore at his shirt and skin, but it only added to the sensations. Itachi, now effectively straddling him on his broken table, looked down at him through the curtain of loose hair that smelled of river and rain, Sharingan impossibly dark, and gasping for air.

"A-are you okay?" He managed to get out between gulps.

Shisui responded by rolling his hips forward, his now painfully hard member glancing Itachi's own swollen groin. He smirked as the boy on top closed his eyes at the sensation. Itachi had always let himself out a little bit with Shisui, but tonight he planned to make his lover lose all semblance of self control. It was a tantalizing thought.

He grabbed the younger's ass roughly and hoisted them up, attaching their lips again, a shiver ran through him as his curls were pulled and the few steps caused slight friction between them again. Unceremoniously, he dropped Itachi on the plethora of pillows on the futon and was on him in the next moment.

The shirts were the first to go, ripped to shreds by each other, the short sword and it's harness thrown to an unspecified corner of the room. Hands roamed of every inch of exposed skin. This time, Shisui's was clawing and Itachi's was gentle.

Shisui was trying to go over all of the information about how to properly do this, as to not hurt Itachi, even though his body was screaming at him for gratification of the instant manner.

The older of the two sat on his heels and gave the younger one his best attempt at a seducing look; though the way Itachi looked up at him, hair splayed around his head in a sea of black in the pink light coming through the window, told him he could be making a fish face right now and have the same affect. Ever so slowly, causing a pout on the lips of the veritable god in his bed, he pulled Itachi's pants and boxers down, inch by breathtaking inch. He was met by a dripping erection, and an embarrassed Itachi looking away. Shisui had never seen such a perfect sight in his entire existence. He had seen Itachi naked plenty of times before, and it had always brought a tightening to his stomach and water to his mouth, but seeing him like this, naked and wanting, brought an entirely new feeling to him.

"Look at me, Ta-chi." He meant to look alluring again, but couldn't help the grin that slipped past his guard. He was more than overjoyed to see how excited Itachi had become by what little they had done, to know that he was wanted as much as he wanted this perfect creature that had made his way into his life. Into his bed.

But more than that, he loved this beautiful person, more than he loved life itself. Which led him to clarify, "If you want me to stop at any point tonight, just tell me Tachi. I don't wanna do anything you don't. Kay?" He made as serious a face as he could muster.

"I love you, Shisui." Itachi said with a cracking mask of indifference plastered to his face, as if that was all the information Shisui needed.

Luckily for them both, it was. Shisui's lips came down, around the tip in front of him, he had been getting pointers from Nanami 'Don't think of her dammit!' for the last 2 years to prepare, so Itachi would think he knew what he was doing, when he most certainly did not. His tongue circled, tasting salt and a slight sweetness, and slowly he challenged himself to move his lips to the base. Keeping eye contact with a half in control Itachi was almost as erotic as the act he was performing itself. He could nearly hear the armor falling to the ground, off of Itachi's heart as his face conveyed more by each passing second. Once he worked up a steady pace of bobbing his head, Itachi's eyes were closed and his face was scrunched in what could only be called a cute way. Fists were pulling at his curls, and the hips below him were bucking up rapidly into his mouth.

Figuring Itachi was close, he scraped his nails down either of his side and added more suction with his lips.

"Stop- Shisui! I'm gonna-" The writhing, crumbling mess beneath him gasped out.

Shisui let out a chuckle around his lover, and picked up the pace once more, all too excited to know more of what the boy he'd loved since he was 6 years old, holding him tightly in a too cold cave, tasted like. With what could probably be described as an attempt at Shisui's name, Itachi crashed over the edge into Shisui's mouth. The sight of the muscles of his toned stomach convulsing under the weight of his orgasm was almost as satisfying as tasting the proof that he had just managed to completely unwind the ice block Uchiha himself.

After swallowing deeply and licking his lips, as if it was the nectar of the gods, for it was the nectar of Shisui's own personal god, he let out in a huskier voice than he'd ever heard escape his mouth, "Do you want to stop now, Tachi?"

Gods, did he never want to stop this, but he wasn't even sure if that had been Itachi's first orgasm, so if that was it for tonight, he'd be more than willing to take a cold shower, and hold this body he'd so missed for months and months.

It was Itachi's turn to reply without an answer, as he pulled Shisui up to his mouth by his now tangled mess of curls. Their lips met in a sweet, gentle kiss that soon turned wanton when the boy beneath tasted himself on his tongue. Careful to not put his weight on Itachi, he lowered himself so their chests could meet, with each elbow on a sea of black. He found hands pulling at his pants, and moved on his own down to help them with their task, never detaching their mouths. A moan escaped into the other's mouth as a hand grasped his aching member. He had to quickly replace the elbow supporting his, as he almost lost his balance at the long awaited friction.

Itachi pushed slightly with his body, beckoning him to reverse positions, but tonight was not about him, so he held firm, and lightly bucked into the too soft hand. Overwhelming love and adoration battle with a new animistic desire within him. He wanted to claim what was his, but he wanted to be claimed as well. He wanted his release as quickly as possibly, but he also wanted to make the main event last as long as possible.

Shisui blindly reached to his left, and found a random bottle of some kind of wet substance that would have to suffice in the dark. He broke the kiss and looked down at a now fully undone Itachi.

"I'm gonna.." The hand slid his fluids over the slit of his member and he shivered. "I'm gonna prepare you now, kay Tachi?" He was surprised at how calmly he was able to speak, if not gruffly.

"It's okay, Shisui. I know." A long forgotten conversation about training for the Anbu had him scrunching his brows together at that. But he decided to leave it for another time.

On shaky legs, he sat back on his heels again, looking down at a no longer embarrassed Itachi, openly spreading his legs, and still stroking him oh-so-fucking-slowly. He poured some of the substance on three fingers, and some on the puckered entrance before throwing it to the side. It smelled heavily of cherries, and he hoped Itachi didn't mind, but Itachi just kept his gaze locked on the man in between his legs, and finally released him, to lay back fully.

Gingerly, he forced one finger in to the hilt, but quickly redrew it at Itachi's wince. "Are you sure about this, Tachi?"

"Just get on with it!" Itachi sounded exasperated for the first time in their lives, so he took that as a good sign to go ahead.

He coaxed the other two in, taking his time to stretch him without pain, occasionally bending down to lick at the now fully re-erected member. He tried to find the spot some older comrades had told him about, and when Itachi let out an actual honest to God moan, he figured he found it. He stuck his tongue out and nibbled on it with furrowed brows, trying to concentrate as best he could. He had no idea how long to continue, as he willed himself to ignore his painfully throbbing manhood.

After about five minutes of hitting that spot continuously, Itachi finally snapped. "Shisui, just do it already!" He snarled in impatience, earning a smirk from a triumphant Shisui.

He sat back up, and placed a hand on the thigh to his left, and he lined himself up with where he wanted to be most in his life right now. "Are you absolutely sure about this? Once this happens, ya'know, it'll neve-" But his words were cut short at Itachi's eye roll as he moved his hips down to penetrate himself.

A surprised "Oh." Left both of their lips simultaneously at the new feeling. Shisui leaned forward to bite the tender flesh of Itachi's earlobe to ground himself, so he could move in inch by agonizing inch. The animal he'd just recently become acquainted with was fighting to make him ravish the body beneath him viciously, but the concern for the pain that might cause was winning at the moment. Once again impatient, hips rolled up to tell him too move. He tried out a few pumps, looking at Itachi for any inkling of discomfort but soon he was forced to close his eyes. "Fuck- Tachi- Tight-"

When he finally found a rhythm and could open his eyes, he saw the scrunched eyebrows and blood dripping from a bitten lip. The blood gave Shisui pause, bringing with it still fresh memories of a time he relished at the sight of it. He tried to push the thought away, and focus on the feelings of pleasure in this moment. But that only added to the lust of the animal trying to overcome him, trying to make him disregard anything but the pleasure he was feeling. It was an entirely different form of arousal, and he found himself wanting to see more of it, to hear the screams it would come with. 'Wait, what?' Shisui didn't realize it, but his entire body froze at the thought. Was he really just thinking about hurting Itachi? Fear and self-loathing washed over him, and his face contorted to a grimace. His body ached to move, but he was so focused in his thoughts, he couldn't bring himself to.

"Shisui...?" Itachi's voice snapped him back to the moment. He blinked.

"Itachi..."

"Is something wrong? You've stopped moving." Itachi said somewhat breathless, his face still looked pained and his teeth sunk deeper into his lip. "It feels... weird, but I'm okay." he tried to reassure the man inside him.

"Bad weird? Should I stop?" Animal Shisui growled in his head, he didn't know if he could at this point, it was very near painful to be still now.

Itachi shook his head, and Shisui moved once more.

"No, just... weir-Oh!" Itachi let out the moan he'd been biting back. Shisui figured he must have hit that spot again, so he tried to mimic it with every thrust. The sounds of Itachi's wanton moans distracted his inner fight, but it was still there. He started a kiss as gently as he could but it was Itachi who deepened it, the blood mixed with the overwhelming taste of sex and dango on his tongue, and he couldn't stop himself from moving faster any longer. The coil of pleasure was being tightly wound in his stomach, and it tried to overtake him. Every cell in his body was on fire, as he tried to keep a rhythm and keep himself in control. He focused on Itachi's face, now clearly showing his pleasure and willed himself to pack the thoughts he was having in a neat little box to be opened when he wasn't buried inside of the love of his life. He focused on the pleasure in his groin, and was relieved when it worked to calm the rather dark thoughts that seeped in seemingly out of nowhere.

Itachi was once again a writhing, seething mess beneath him, as he pounded as fast as his hips could move and slid a hand between them to stroke at the sex crazed mass on the pillows. He lifted himself up so he could properly see the real Itachi. He was met with an open and drooling mouth, scrunched perfectly shaped eyebrows, and long, half closed lashes over Sharingan with an impossibly deep shade of red. It only took a few strokes and warm liquid made it's way all over the both of their chests. Itachi was moaning loudly now, and meeting his thrusts. He nearly died for the tightening around him, as Itachi gracefully pushed him to roll them over and shamelessly rode him as if his very life depended on it.

The animal had finally gained a little control over him, as he mercilessly moved his hips up to meet the ones above. Fingernails dug into his chest as he guided the incubus' hips with bruising force. His own nails were digging into the boy's hip bones and he could only pull his eyes away from the blood trails dripping down to his thighs when Itachi fell forward. A curtain of black-grey silk surrounded them as they began their dance of tongues once again.

It started with a pounding in his ears and a tightening in his stomach, and ended with "Fuck-Tachi-I Love You!" as he spilled himself inside of his now fully sated lover. The feeling was unlike any other orgasm he'd ever had, it completely washed over every muscle in his body, causing a relaxation he'd never known. The part of him he'd been fighting receded, sated as well.

They both collapsed, breathless and held each other until Itachi could move off of him to settle in the cradle of his arm. As he lay beside his lover (and he reveled in the fact he could properly and fulling think of him as that now), he felt as if his soul had completely been washed clean. With a form of satisfaction, he realized he'd now become addicted, for he'd never again be able to hold himself back with Itachi now, and the thought concerned and enticed him.

But tonight was not about him, so he forced a giddy laugh that was of course met with the same worried pout it always was. "Happy birthday, Tachi!" he gave a cheeky grin, between gasps.

A genuine chuckle escaped a pair of well kissed lips as he scooted closer. "I love you too."

Their eyes locked in one final lust filled gaze, and Shisui wasn't sure which part had entrapped him the most. Was it seeing that carefully practiced air of nothingness crumble into a wanton and loving mess? Was it the feeling of being buried so deeply inside of the only person he had left in this world? Was it the dominance, he could only think to refer to as the animal he'd been fighting the whole time, of claiming this perfect being as his own? Or was it this moment, where Itachi could laugh, and smile freely? Shisui was unsure, but he knew he had the rest of his life to figure it out.

Itachi didn't have to tell him, Shisui knew. They would be doing this every chance they got. He could see the fire had not died out in the other's eyes, in fact the way he looked at him in this moment told Shisui that he was just as addicted as he himself was, and he couldn't help but revel in that idea. For now, he just needed to enjoy this perfect night, and make Itachi as close to happy as possible. He could figure everything else out later.

Itachi finally looked around the half destroyed room then and he eyed Shisui with mild concern.

"Oh, yeah. I forgot the candles!" With a hand sign, he lit them all at once, and finally they could properly see each other.

"Wanna take a shower?" He wiggled his eyebrows, all playful smiles and cheeky grins again.

"Aa, but Shisui..." Itachi nodded.

"Hn?"

"Were you trying to burn the place down?" Gut splitting laughter followed Itachi to the bathroom.

* * *

The rest of the night was met with gentle kisses and small talk about Sasuke, and how the village was doing. Itachi needed to tell him about the clan's most recent ill-meaning plans, and Shisui needed to tell him about the mission, but neither could ruin this one perfect night.

As Shisui lay awake next to a silent and still form looking back at him, he studied every heavenly inch. "Sleep now, Tachi," he whispered with a smile.

The morning would bring with it heartbreaking explanations of their time apart, but all Shisui could do was think back to the night they met, the that night whatever higher power there was had decided he deserved someone so wonderful by his side. He thought back to the darkness that had surrounded him these past months, and tried to think of a way to properly atone for it, while also thanking this ethereal creature for saving him. If it had not been for that crow, Shisui wasn't sure if he'd be in this bed, with this man, smiling like a school girl. Shisui wasn't even sure if he'd still be Shisui. With that thought, he remembered the darkness that had crept into him during what should have been a perfect experience, maybe he wasn't still the same Shisui that had left, after all...

But all of that could wait for morning, as he repeated "Sleep now, Tachi," and drifted off into oblivion.

* * *

 **Nose bleeds anyone? :D**

 **Stay tuned to see what happens the morning after this long awaited birthday, and let me know what ya think!**

 **Thank you so much to betas for helping me work through what I wanted to show here!**

 **As always, y'all have a nice day now!**


	8. A New Mission

Itachi woke up to an empty bed, the late morning sun shining brightly in his eyes through the slatted half-decaying blinds. 'Did I sleep in?' That was odd, he never slept very far past dawn, even after a long mission or serious training. He sat up to stretch his limbs and winced slightly at the dull aching he found radiating around his entire body. He looked down, and noticed his naked body, littered with small bruises and healing scratches.

"Oh," he whispered to himself, remembering what had happened the night before. A small smile played on his lips, and the aching transformed from annoying to a lovely, tangible reminder of the best night of his life. Well, other than the birth of Sasuke, but as always, this was the best in an entirely different part of his heart.

A noise came from the bathroom and Itachi pulled on a pair of grey pants from the floor, and went in search for it, now fully reveling in the satisfying tenderness as he walked, telling him last night was real. It had finally happened. Taking in the destroyed state of Shisui's apartment nearly caused a chuckle to escape him. They had gotten a little carried away, he mused.

Sliding the bathroom door open with an "Ohayo!" he froze, as he found Shisui sitting on the toilet lid, foot dripping with blood on his knee.

"Shisui?" There was no reply, though, as Shisui stayed completely still, staring at the injured foot like it was the most interesting sight in the world.

Slowly, in a somewhat cautious manner, he made his approach. "How'd you manage that?" He tried.

Still nothing, no reaction at all.

"Shisui, hello? Are you in there?"

Not a muscle was moved as he leant down on his knees in front of the stone figure, blood dripping from a deep wound on the soft part of his foot. Closer now, Itachi saw there was still a piece of a broken cup buried in the appendage.

He grabbed a towel from the rack behind him and moved to wipe away the blood, but the second the towel brushed the foot his wrist was caught with bruising force.

"Don't." The voice voice was Shisui's, but he'd never heard it before. The grin was on Shisui's face, but he'd never seen it before. "Don't touch it."

"Does it hurt? I have a med kit in my pack, I'll go-" The grip on his arm tightened painfully, nails slicing through the thin flesh. The face looking at the foot lifted to meet his gaze, smiling wickedly, displaying perfect white teeth, gleaming in the fluorescent lights.

"Shisui, you're hurting me. What the..." He kept the wall intact around himself, like he never had to do with Shisui, but inside he was a ball of terror and confusion.

He could almost hear the snap inside of Shisui's head as his eyes finally focused on Itachi. His hand immediately fell and reached for the back of his neck, to scratch it. His face returned to the lopsided grin Itachi loved more than air.

"What? Oh sorry Tachi, did I wake you? I stepped on a cup, you see." He laughed nervously. "Would you mind sewing it up for me? I really don't wanna go to a medic for something so stupid!"

Itachi blinked, the confused ball in his chest threatened to overtake him. 'What the hell was that?' Nonetheless, he got up and went to retrieve his pack.

When he returned, Shisui was staring at the foot again. 'Oh, not the foot.' Shisui collected some blood in his hand and stared at that now. 'The blood?' Itachi hated when he couldn't figure something out, especially with Shisui. And now it appeared Shisui needed him somehow, so what use would he be if he couldn't help? 'But help with what?'

Shisui brought the fingers up to his mouth and tentatively licked them. He closed his eyes, seeming to savor the taste.

Well it was a clue at least, but to what? Itachi coughed to let the most oblivious Shisui he'd ever seen know he was in the room. The snap occurred again, and he was all smiles again.

That part bothered Itachi more than anything else this morning. There had never been any secrets between them before. That smile on his face felt like a betrayal, as Itachi came up to him, and deftly removed the glass from the dripping foot.

It took little time for him to completely sew up the wound, and clean the blood off of Shisui and the tile. His grey pants had gotten blood on them, he realized with a sigh, standing up and shamelessly removing them to add to the pile of soiled rags.

He lifted a hand out to Shisui, and found Shisui's eyes were raking over his now naked form, with the same intensity gave for the blood. Shisui took his hand and pulled himself up, wincing in pain at his foot, and moving to sling an arm over Itachi's shoulders.

They hobbled over to the futon and Shisui plopped down with abandon, pulling Itachi as well, so he landed against a hard chest with a thud.

"What are you gonna do today?" Shisui asked, his lips brushing the younger man's loose hair.

"My family thinks I'm on a mission until tomorrow, that's what I told Sasuke at least." Itachi replied, nuzzling into the warm muscles beneath his face. He wouldn't let Shisui get away that easily however. "What was all that about, Shisui?"

"Hn? Oh, I was trying to clean up and I stepped on a cup. We really made a mess of this place last night." he laughed, somewhat strained.

Itachi noticed. "Do you take me for a fool?" he asked, lacing in just the right amount of accusation into an otherwise empty tone.

"I..." he took a deep breath, "I don't know, Tachi."

"What haven't you told me?" He was still missing something here.

"Nanami died." He mimicked Itachi's usual tone of indifference as best he could.

Itachi froze and looked up to see a misty, blank stare.

"I went... I did things, while I was gone."

Itachi had to hold back a scoff. "We've all done things Shisui."

"Well yeah, us especially." He laughed without humor. "But I.. Tachi, I liked it. I liked it so much, I didn't think I could ever stop."

Itachi, nodded, understanding. In the Anbu, the most morally difficult missions were given to "special cases." Itachi didn't know all the details, but Kakashi-senpai had told him once about the darkness in men's hearts required for Anbu, to which he simply nodded. But then he told the young Uchiha that some people snapped under the weight of the darkness, and began to enjoy it. They began to live for the kill, to chase it even, for the thrill. He'd always thought it took a certain type of inherently evil man to become one of those "special cases," but he knew Shisui better than he knew himself; the fact that Shisui had been entrapped by such a darkness was not a pleasant thought.

"Do you know about the Mangekyo Sharingan?"

"Aa, Father told me about it once, it's said to be the most powerful visual jutsu of any clan."

Shisui's eyes evolved to Sharingan, and then with a little crease forming between his eyebrows, evolved further. The tomoe had changed into a four pointed star, its edges curved as they reached the circumference of his irises. Itachi could only stare on in awe, in understanding, in overwhelming sadness for this development.

Shisui had changed, he realized with some form of guilt building in his chest, in the 5 months he was away. How long had it been since he was forced to have those eyes? How long had he been suffering all alone? Itachi remember the night before, how joyous he'd been in the act of love making he'd been dreaming about the whole time Shisui was gone. Shisui must have been miserable last night.

Itachi felt stupid for the first time in his life. How could he not have seen it in his eyes? How could he not see the pain his lover had been in?

"Shisui, I..." He reached up to cup the slightly paled face, his eyes bleeding back to black.

"Sh, Tachi. It's nothing we can't handle."

Itachi felt the ghost of a smile on his face. 'We... Good. We'll figure it out together.'

"So what happened on the home front?" His voice was all business as he ungracefully changed the subject.

"I've managed to stall them, for now. Father doesn't seem too thrilled about causing a war, but the rest of clan is getting restless. On top of that, the counselors aren't pleased with progress I've made. They want more instantaneous results it seems. But the police just keep getting more brutal, and then get angry when it's pointed out to them, so they get more brutal. Father says he's trying to stop it, but I haven't been able to find proof of that..." He trailed off, letting Shisui absorb the information.

"I may have a way I can help." Itachi raised an eyebrow, "I can't tell you everything yet, but I've been placed as a second spy I guess you could call it. The Third called it an information retrieval mission."

Itachi gave him a pout he knew he'd be able to read. "It's not that you're not doing enough, Tachi so don't look so worried! I just figured you could use the help, you're only one man after all." Shisui finally gave him a real smile that melted his heart.

"I guess I could," he relented with a returned smirk.

"Should we start today?" Shisui cooed, running a finger up Itachi's spine.

"We probably should, but It's hard to do much in broad daylight." Itachi pondered lightly.

"I did miss most of your birthday... I guess it can wait a little bit." Shisui joked.

The younger of the two placed soft kisses over the heart of his newly formed lover. The pain in Shisui's eyes was well hidden from him, but he knew it was there, and he knew there were still things he didn't understand behind it. Itachi felt helpless for the first time since Shisui's parents had died and he didn't know what to do to make it better. He had promised himself, the first time he had kissed Shisui when he was eight and the Sharingan still burned his eyes, that the next time Shisui needed him he would do everything he could to make the pain go away.

This all led him to crawl at a lazy pace to straddle the man beneath him and begin a kiss he hoped would draw some of that pain out. A small muffled sound was released against his lips, and he felt an engorged organ brush his inner thigh.

He gave a timid smile, as he crawled down Shisui's body, pulling his sleep pants with him. He was becoming completely enthralled with the hardness that sprung out in front of his face, as he let his mind wander off to the blissful state of numbness it had last night. With all the skill he had learned on dummies years ago for the Anbu, he swirled his tongue around Shisui's head, pleased by the sigh it caused.

Focusing intently, with furrowed brows, he bobbed and sucked at Shisui until he was all but petting his long hair. Itachi hadn't understood last night, why Shisui looked to be enjoying himself so much when he had done this, but now he did. The look of overwhelming pleasure splayed over Shisui's face, and the look of absolute pure love in his eyes was intoxicating, addicting.

Shisui reached down to pull at Itachi's hair, setting his own pace, and the younger man let him. He was nearly in a trance, seeing Shisui like this, knowing it was because of him. All traces of pain and sadness were gone from his face in this perfect moment, nothing mattered but the two of them in this bed.

It was a blessing he thought to never deserve, to be able to lift everything off of his young, overburdened shoulders like this. To completely lose himself, to leave who he thought to be Itachi, and to become just a boy in love with his best friend for a little while. It indeed was a blessing.

He hummed in contentment around Shisui's now pulsing length, the hands holding his head ripped at his hair, and their movements became sporadic. In a back arching, screaming, sweaty mess Shisui came into Itachi's mouth, and Itachi could have sworn it was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen in his entire existence. Possibly, the most beautiful thing that had ever existed at all.

Shisui was breathing heavily when Itachi laid in the crook of his arm, cuddling close in the weirdly decorative silk pillows that littered his futon now.

He cooed and shh'd as Shisui held him and silently cried for the first time in years.

When he finally had no tears left, Itachi kissed his lips as soft as the whisper that escaped them, "Sleep now, Shisui."

Shisui would join the silent war Itachi had been fighting for the better part of two years when he woke, but that didn't matter in the bed. There was only Itachi and Shisui in all the world, and they both knew, for they didn't have to tell each other, that that would never change.

* * *

Shisui considered himself to be a patient man. He'd never lost his temper in stressful situations (okay, he wasn't counting whatever the hell happened during his Mist mission, simply because he still hadn't figured out exactly what had happened), but his calm, turn everything into a joke so it doesn't bother him attitude was dangerously close to slipping away as he stayed on his knees in front of the clan elders. He'd been his own version of a spy for weeks now, ever since the day after he got back to the village, which meant seeing these old croons more than he'd like. To gather information that Itachi couldn't, he started volunteering for every mission the Uchiha patriarchs could think to come up with, most of which Fugaku didn't even know about.

So here he was, head bowed, Sharingan activated but lowered, listening to them bitch for the third time today about trivial matters of the clan he cared nothing about. It was all just some stupid bureaucracy stuff, that though he understood (he was their genius after all), bored him literally to no end, as they ignored him to continue their meeting.

He half listened, picking out any important details, and packing them into the neat and steadily growing folder of the Uchiha clan's devious and traitorous actions. And then he heard a name that threatened to make his paper thin composure rip to pieces.

"We've been getting reports from a lot of the police force about Itachi-san's odd behavior." The youngest one, running the meeting in lew of Fugaku directed the conversation.

"Odd behavior?" It was Niori, the meanest of the bunch. Back in the day he was a bit of a sadistic bastard, as Shisui's grandfather had once gracefully put it.

"Hm, it seems he hasn't been home at all in weeks, only stops by to see his brother, then says he has a mission to go off to."

Another one spoke up, "But he's an Anbu captain now, of course he'll be drowned in missions."

"Ah, but it seems he's been acting... Let's see how did they put it?" The meeting captain looked down the traitorous scroll in his hands, "And I quote, 'Itachi Uchiha has been avoiding clan meetings, seen sneaking around the compound a few times when his family thought he was away, and more often than not, displaying behavior one could only describe as cold and suspicious.' It seems the police force wants us to investigate the possibility of him being a spy among our ranks." He finished with a slanted gaze towards Shisui.

'Shit, shit, shit, shit!' Shisui had to dig his nails into his palms to remain silent and keep his breathing even. 'This is bad, Tachi, shit!'

"You there." Niori pointed to the young Uchiha, who simply lifted an eye to him. "What do you make of this? It's said the boy looks up to you as an older brother."

Shisui had to bite back the smirk trying to break its way onto his face at being referred to as Itachi's Nii-san. His mind kicked into overdrive, he could almost feel the wheels turning as fast as they could, as he tried to formulate the safest reply, for Itachi, more than himself. "Ah, we're friends, Lord Elder. He has seem stressed lately with all of his missions, I barely see him anymore."

That part was true at least. Three days after Itachi's 13th birthday, he'd been promoted to the youngest Anbu captain the village had ever had, and in the last two months, had only managed to see him for three nights. Itachi had told him the missions would slow down a little when he proved himself, and his spying of the Uchiha became more important, but that had yet to happen.

"Would you say you see him the most, though?" The meeting leader spoke up after whispering amongst themselves for several minutes.

Tentatively, he replied, "Yes." He tried to keep the question out of his voice, were they trying to accuse him? No way they knew he was a spy too, right? They sounded like they didn't even know for certain if Itachi was, though they _were_ Uchihas so gauging them was exceedingly difficult.

They all nodded to each other, and Niori stood and walked up to the kneeling teen. "This council unofficially orders you to watch Itachi Uchiha-san. Do you understand, boy?"

 _'Perfect_ , that would be perfect.' He had to dig his nails further into his palms to hide the smile as he responded with gusto, "Yes, sir!"

One of the spies watching the Uchiha was to spy on his partner spy, also watching the Uchiha. The game board was set in his favor now. The funniest part to him, was that these "all knowing" elders, had no idea at all that their loyal dog was reporting directly to the hokage. They had no idea that the very boy they had just asked him to watch, he'd been watching since he was six years old. He was aware how dangerous this new game could get, but the enticing sound of it was almost fun to his tired mind. They had no inkling of an idea what big a mistake they had just made, but showing them will be the most fun he'll ever have.

* * *

 **Oooooh so now we're getting to the juicy parts, well the last couple chapters have been juicy but now it'll just get more intense ;D**

 **Let me know what you think, and have a good day!**

 **Special thanks to** **CelestialCircumference for her help with this chapter :)**


	9. Stopping a War Everday

**Ah, sorry for the long wait! Next chapter should come quicker :)**

* * *

Two weeks after his new "spying mission" was given to him, Shisui _finally_ gets word from Itachi. It comes in the form of a crow, the same color of his hair, and it takes all the love-starved teen's will power not to hug the creature to death. Around its neck is a charm he and he alone knows to mean "meet me at our river."

In his giddiness, he nearly trips over the head stone in front of him which he brushes off with a laugh. "Sorry, Nanami! Gotta leave early today, hot date ya'know! Hope that sake is enough to tide you over for a while."

He claps and bows with a cheeky grin to his best friend, then makes a sign to form on the bank of their river and waits for Itachi.

An hour later, he's still waiting.

At hour three the sun starts to set, and he pops back to town to grab something to eat, hoping the lanky teen is waiting for _him_ this time at the bank.

Finally at hour five he feels that beautiful chakra come into range, and tries to put on his best angry face, though the prospect of seeing his lover again causes ripples of excitement to radiate behind his scowl.

All pretenses drop at the sight he's presented with when the crow-haired Anbu captain walks past the tree line. To say Itachi looks exhausted would be like saying the Uchiha were a cheerful clan. The boy in front of him looked dead, no, dead was too kind Shisui decided, he'd seen corpses with a more youthful glow than his 13 year old best friend.

Itachi simply attempted a smile at him (Shisui could laugh at the adorable way his brow furrows like the effort alone might kill him) and walked up the water's edge to promptly plant his behind on the dirt.

"When's the last time you slept, Tachi?"

"Hn? Oh, a couple of days I suppose."

Shisui sat next to him, and planted a sweet kiss on younger boy's cheek. "I think it's time to sleep now, Tachi."

"Not yet, there's a clan meeting tonight." His voice had lost all youth and sounded more like a croak from a decrepit old man than that of the beautiful creature beside him. It sounded wrong, if you were to ask Shisui, so very, tragically wrong.

It kind of reminded Shisui of Niori in fact, which was not a pleasant thought but served to remind him of the biggest news he had to share. "I've been ordered to spy on you," he blurted in his version of a blunt manner.

The worried pout he received, though on a dead face, was so beautiful and so much Itachi that he wanted to squeeze it between his hands so it would never leave him again. Instead, he flipped up the back of the dirty ponytail and chuckled, "Don't make that face, Tachi! It doesn't suit you. You must always remain calm, my friend. This works in our favor."

Itachi pondered this as he did everything his elder said. "I suppose. It would explain to them why we're always together. And facilitate all the time we need to collect information."

Shisui burst into gut splitting laughter at that, reminding him more of that damned meeting he'd had two weeks ago. He didn't have to look to know Itachi was pouting. "They called me your big brother!"

"Oh dear," was all the younger had to say, but he smiled tiredly at the love of his life.

One quick, but promising kiss later, and they parted ways until that night, when Itachi could finally sleep.

There was a clan meeting to survive first.

* * *

89 hours. Itachi had woken up 89 hours ago in the Hidden Sand village with a splitting headache from head injury a few days before. His subordinates had patched him up the best they could, but it didn't matter, he would live so he didn't much care that he could barely focus his eyes, let alone see properly.

It had been an assassination mission of a Sand councilor, direct orders from Danzou. They wouldn't find the body for several days, but he and his team still left the moment he opened his eyes.

The whole nonstop journey back did little to clear his mind, the closer he got to home, the more elated he was. However, at the same time, the closer he got to home, the more he wanted expel his food pill meals onto the forest floor.

The man had been a Sand councilor, and wanted to push for a war with the leaf, on behalf of his new ally—the Uchihas. This troubled him, but served to give him some form of a twisted comfort, as he knew this information would add an emphasis to his spying, and give him more time at home.

But that's not why he felt sick. They knew it would take several days to find the body, they also knew the Sand would say nothing to make his murder, nor its circumstances known. The man had liked boys; he had been in a large house on the outskirts of the Sand, where men who liked boys went. Itachi had been chosen because he was known to be the man's type.

He'd not let the man get very far before he killed him, but to reduce his screaming and struggle, he'd had to let the man get far enough. He'd gotten far enough to paint a pretty picture as to what the man did to the boys he usually bought at this place. He had made him talk in a higher pitch, play with a few innocent toys, there was more, but Itachi shuddered at the thought of it. The man had constantly complained the 13 year old was too old.

Itachi did not mind for a single moment crushing the man's throat in his hands. In fact, he had a smile he'd never used and had yet to classify on his face. A part of him wondered if that's what Shisui looked like when he killed others.

It was a strange feeling, experiencing it all. Itachi had become very good at cutting himself off from his body, running on instinct when he killed. Shisui had taught him when he was just a toddler not to look at their faces as the light drained away, and it always helped. His mind would be on autopilot so he couldn't care about what he was doing, or to whom. But this kill had been different. He had stared into the man's eyes and enjoyed the fear in them, thinking of the symmetry to the fear this man had put in small boys' eyes. He had even found himself loosening his grip a few times, to prolong the event.

Itachi packed the mission and all of his thoughts away in a neat little box in the back of his mind the moment he left Danzou's underground base. He'd already sent the message at the same time he sent his crow to Shisui, (secretly as to not alert Danzou or the Uchiha) to the Hokage of the information he'd gained from the man about the Uchiha's involvement with him.

He was walking up the massive concrete steps to the Nakano shrine, when he saw his parents for the first time in two months. His father had his signature scowl that hadn't changed much since he was a child, but it was harder now, more strained and the storm brewing behind it was little hidden from his eyes. His mother, on the other hand, looked as tired as he felt, there was no light in her eyes anymore and she looked very much older than he knew her to be. The way she shrank away from his father, and farther into herself every time someone tried to speak to her as they walked by told him more than he needed to know about how this meeting would go.

He was the last one inside before his parents, when he passed them neither so much as greeted him, his father looked as pleased as he could though, and his mother simply looked sad and concerned, though he attributed that to his appearance.

The only reason he ever got through these shit fests without losing his long trained patience was sitting next to him in the farthest most row from the stone tablet and "accidentally" brushed Itachi's leg with his own every few minutes.

The last meeting he'd attended had left him feeling a little weightless compared to the almost constant burden that was on his shoulders, knowing Shisui was beside him listening and collecting information as much as he was, and for the same cause. But this time he found he couldn't revel in feeling weightless at all, a huge metaphorical boulder was sitting on his chest and it dug deeper into his skin every time someone would glance back at him with distrust in their eyes.

He was certain none of them knew what he was up to for sure, and even in their imaginations he doubted it was even close to the whole truth, but he was dancing on the line of being found out now, and it was not a dance he ever wanted to partake in.

Shisui was "spying" on him.

To keep him safe, the love of Itachi's life was now working as the ultimate double agent, not just living a double life, but what one might be able to consider a triple life.

Loyal to the village above all other affinities, and pretending to be a loyal lap dog to the Uchiha, the very people he was spying on.

Loyal and so obviously and painfully in love with Itachi Uchiha, and pretending to spy on him, when really he was Itachi's biggest asset for damning information.

Shisui had repeatedly told him since he joined Itachi's silent war, that he did it simply to protect the village, but Itachi knew the truth. Shisui didn't have to tell him that everything he did was to keep Itachi safe, to lessen his burdens, to make him as happy as one could be in his own personal hell.

Itachi listened to the entire ever growing list of complaints and commands his fellow clan members had for his father, to which Fugaku tried in earnest to dampen. Itachi didn't know if he should feel relieved or troubled that his father wanted any form of a coup to happen as little as he did. He didn't hear his father's name once from the man, or any other Sand affiliate he'd met recently, so it led him to believe that his father wasn't behind the plan at all. But there was always a "yet" plastered to the end of his thoughts, as every meeting the clan got louder, and more angry, and his father's patience wore down and his mother's eyes got sadder.

Finally, Fugaku made the segway to their Anbu spy, cuing for him to stand up and recite the carefully practiced "information" that the village (Danzou) had approved him to give the clan. Before he stood, a hand squeezed his knee and calmed the shaking it found there.

After regurgitating the information about a new alliance with the Village Hidden in the Cloud after a recent kidnapping attempt had been settled, for his audience, Itachi moved to sit back down, but his Father stopped him.

"Itachi."

"Hn?"

"At the last meeting, that you missed," his father added with scorn.

'I missed because I'm being drowned in missions from the Anbu _you_ wanted me to be in, cleaning up after _your_ runaway self-righteous clan.' Itachi added to himself in his head.

"It was decided that, for our own protection, we need to know where the Nine Tails is housed, and what kind of security is being utilized for it."

"I'm sorry?" he nearly choked on his words, as he tried to retrain his face to remain a calm shell.

Was this a test? Were they going to use the Nine Tails? Was it truly them who used it the last time? Anger bubbled in his chest at this. They'd spent the last several years of his life bitching about the ostracization they'd been subjected to for an attack they had nothing to do with, now they were thinking of actually doing the very thing they'd been screaming innocence to this whole time?

"This is just a precautionary measure, son. If the Nine Tails were to get out again, we need to make sure the Uchiha is on the front lines this time. We also need to ensure as the peace keepers of this village it's not used as a weapon against us." Fugaku explained, crossing his arms.

"And the village," Itachi stated with a questioning undertone.

He could overwhelmingly feel Shisui's disdained and scornful smirk when Niori Uchiha spat out, "Obviously, you brat!" at the same time Fugaku averted his eyes and nearly stuttered through the affirmation of "And the village."

This spoke volumes to the young Uchiha as he gave a curt nod and sat down next to a barely visibly outraged Shisui. Itachi of course knew that he was beyond the bounds of anger, Shisui did not need to tell him.

They spent the rest of the heated meeting with their folded knees touching, as Itachi made sure to sit down much closer to his older lover. The light contact was the only thing that kept them both silent and in control.

In the meeting at least.

* * *

"What the fuck!? What in the actual holy fucking _hell_ are they thinking!?" Shisui was screaming at the top of his lungs faster than Itachi could erect the sound barrier on the Shisui's tiny apartment. "They want to start a war, okay whatever! We can stop that! The village can stop that, but the Nine Tails? There's a reason they've been outcasts since the last attack! The village barely made it out _alive_!"

Shisui was pacing the small room over and over in angry circles; Itachi could just barely keep up with him, moving objects out of his warpath as to not destroy his apartment.

"We have to tell the elders _immediately_!" Shisui finally turned his attentions towards Itachi.

Itachi wasn't sure if that was a question or not, but he decided to answer anyway. "We can't, not yet," he responded in as calm a tone as he could currently manage.

"Right they're onto you! Fuck." Shisui face planted on the futon with a loud groan.

"It's not just that, Shisui." This earned another long groan of question. "The elders are getting restless; it may cause them to make the first strike if we tell them too quickly. There's work to be done before we report this."

Without dislodging his head from the pillow Shisui mumbled out, "How can you be so calm and calculate so well all the time? Obviously you're pissed, but how can you be so robotic when they're thinkin' of doing something this crazy?"

There wasn't judgment in Shisui's tone, but for some reason Itachi was too tired to judge, it caused the latent anger to boil to the surface with as much of a vengeance as Itachi could manage. "I am _not_ a robot! I'm mad too! I just choose to think of a solution that doesn't get everyone killed, dammit! I _have_ to be calm and think everything through! This isn't just a pissed off clan anymore! I'm stopping a war everyday now! Something has got to change, because I can't do this forever!"

He didn't know when the tears welled up in his eyes, but they fell on the last words screeched from his lips. His throat was raw, Itachi could never think of a time in his life he'd ever yelled like that.

It had felt good.

It felt right.

He'd been hiding his anger, even from himself, for so long that letting it come out felt something like kissing Shisui for the first time.

He felt much lighter now.

So much lighter that he seemed be floating.

It was only when he hit the ground that he realized it was only him finally succumbing to exhaustion. 'Dammit, I'm not even strong enough to be angry right.'

* * *

Shisui hadn't caught Itachi when he fell to the ground. He was too dumbfounded at seeing and hearing Itachi lose his shit for the first time in their lives. The ragdoll had toppled over onto his floor with a very confused smile on his face the moment he was done yelling.

It took several more minutes than Shisui would care to ever admit to go pick the doll up off of the floor. If Itachi was this out of control (and yes, for Itachi, just yelling for two minutes was akin to a mental break down), things were even worse than the Nine Tails.

When he got him to the bed, Shisui brushed the stray hair off of Itachi's dead looking face. What was it Itachi had said? Stopping a war every day? Shisui shuddered at the thought.

He'd had a mission just like that, and he too had a mental breakdown. With a wicked smirk, he stroked the sunken cheek. "Oh what a pair we make. Sleep now, Tachi."

He went about stripping Itachi of his still dirty mission underclothes.

That's when he saw them.

Along Itachi's pulse line were unmistakable purple circles, the soft edges were that of a squished flower, and he many times would regard his own handy work on the impossibly tanned skin of the Uchiha and think them pretty. The only problem was that these were very much new. And he hadn't seen Itachi in two weeks.

What was he doing to stop the Uchiha's need for a war?

That question ran through his head like an evil mantra, pulling at his already unstable psyche until it crumbled.

He didn't blink or move for a very, very long time.

* * *

When Itachi next opened his eyes, he noticed it was still dark. Taking in the stiffness of his body he quickly assumed that it was actually just dark _again._ He rolled over, expecting to cuddle closer to his lover for comfort, but instead ran into a knee.

With a timid eye behind a curtain of hair, he peered up at Shisui, who was sitting on the futon staring at him intensely.

"Shisui?"

"You're awake." Shisui jabbed a finger into the side of his throat. "Tachi, what was your last mission?"

"Assassination," Itachi put it simply, rolling onto his back and stretching, fully intent on going back to sleep.

Again there was a sharp poke at his throat. "Tachi, I have sat here waiting for my answers while I let you sleep. What was your last mission?" The exhausted croak his voice had taken on reminded Itachi of his own the day before. But what worried him most was the way he was speaking. It was far too serious for Shisui; Shisui did serious in an angry manner, or in a half-hearted bad joke manner. He did not go out of his way to speak like that; in fact he avoided speaking like that or entering a conversation where it'd be required like the plague.

Plus, had he really sat vigil for an entire day and night?

Giving up on trying to decipher this without further information, while equally giving up on lying or dismissing the subject, Itachi chose to tell him the truth in a way that he knew only Shisui would fully understand. "They've been trying to gain support in the Sand for any coup plans they may have in the future." He peaked up to see Shisui's nod that he already knew this, and motioned for him to lay with him. When he was securely snuggled into the chest he could draw in detail for knowing it so well he continued with the hard part. "One of the Sand counselors was in major support of it, and wanted to not only establish a plan, he wanted to move up the deadline." He felt Shisui's slight shudder at this, but continued. "I killed him."

Shisui squeezed him, not satisfied, as he was hoping would not be the case. With a long, scornful sigh he added, "He had a thing for young boys; it was the only way to get him alone. We wanted no evidence to trace back to us."

The hold was nearly painful, as Shisui tried to absorb his body into his own. "Tachi…" He seemed to be at a loss as to what to say, they'd both established long ago that this kind of mission might come up in his line of work, it was actually quite surprising that it had taken this long. "Are you okay?"

To say that surprised him would be an understatement, he had prepared himself for this on the way home. He had expected tears, he had expected anger, he had expected disgust, he had even expected for Shisui to want to ravish him to get rid of the other man's filth on him. He had not expected him to only wish to know if Itachi was okay.

Itachi couldn't hold back his smile when he lifted his head to meet Shisui's eyes. Of course he was okay. He was in Shisui's bed, in Shisui's arms, and nothing mattered outside of this haven. He replied with a heartfelt, albeit tired and sloppy kiss to the lips.

When he laid his head back down, he knew they both needed more sleep, if Shisui had gotten any at all. With a confused and exhausted sigh Itachi muttered, "I liked it."

Shisui knew, Itachi did not have to tell him, that he meant the killing. Itachi finally understood what had happened, even just a small amount, to him in the Mist.

"Always one step behind, but always more graceful," Shisui muttered against crow-black hair.

"We have to do something about this, Shisui, we have to stop it. If they start a war…" he trailed off. But they both knew when he uttered the sacred name "Sasuke…" that the stakes had never been higher.

"Aa. Sleep now, Tachi."

* * *

 **Next chapter (don't worry I won't spoil it!) Shisui will finally... well do something about all this mess we have here xD Then we can get back to only slightly angsty but mostly fluffy and very sexy chapters for a while (I equally love angst and sexy fluff, don't hate me for writing both please xD)**

 **As always, let me know what you think, and have a wonderful day!**


	10. Passion and Resolve

**Sorry for the wait guys! I'm back with another update now :) and just for your patience, the first half is basically just porn with Shisui's odd mind worked into the mix.**

 **Enjoy xD**

* * *

Shisui woke to a beautiful sight two days after the most disturbing clan meeting he was sure had ever taken place. Itachi was serene with sleep, hair loose and splayed over both of their bodies, his face nuzzled comfortably on the older Uchiha's chest. Their legs were completely entangled, his groin just touching Shisui's.

The world became sharper in detail as Shisui activated his Sharingan to engrave this perfect moment into mind for the rest of his left, reveling in the warmth and beauty that radiated from his lover. He almost didn't want to wake the sleepy crow, but a stirring desire was making itself known, he hadn't had time in so long to even hold his lover let alone ravish the lithe and perfect body using him as a heater, pillow and mattress at the moment. They'd only done it twice, if you could count the morning after the first time, when Itachi so gracefully took his pain away.

Shisui did.

Now Itachi was in pain and he had to fix it any way he could, it was his sole purpose in life to make Itachi happy. Even his shinobi code was to keep Itachi safe, the village just happened to be lumped in with what would keep him happy as well.

He peered down at the body on top of him. The bruises on his tender and tanned throat were a pretty yellow color, and he felt an undeniable desire to mark the sensitive skin as his own, to wash away any evidence of the foul man who had previously laid his claim there. He knew Itachi was irrevocably his, but he needed to reassert that before the little crow fluttered away from him again as he undoubtedly would. He had an irrational insecurity to make sure Itachi had a reason to come back to him when he could.

He was in the middle of debating how to go about waking Itachi up in the most pleasant way, when said teen peeked an eye open and stretched, effectively rubbing their morning-stiff groins together with a low groan.

"Ohayo, Tachi," Shisui smiled a cheeky grin at him and was pleased by the barely noticeable blush that appeared on tanned cheeks.

Before Itachi could respond, Shisui lent down to catch his lips in a lazy kiss, cupping his cheek with one hand and pulling him up closer to his height by his plump behind with the other. The younger of the two moaned into the kiss when the hand on his ass remained and gave a firm squeeze, making his intention known wordlessly.

Though the two of them had never needed words.

Itachi rolled off of him, pulling Shisui with him, so they were facing each other on their sides. Shisui brought his lover's leg up around his waist and nipped at his bottom lip, chuckling softly when he was graced with jerk into his hips.

Shisui pulled back for a moment to look into the matching set of Sharingan he loved so much, and was struck with a wave of nostalgia, the current position, with the sexual nature removed was just how they'd spent every night together since they were four and six. With nothing by affection in his tone, being the sap that he could be for Itachi he whispered, "This is how I fell in love with you, ya know."

Itachi ran a teasing finger down his spine and Shisui nearly died. "I rather thought you loved me before we ever did this." To make his point as to what he meant by _this_ he ground his hips into Shisui's, smirking the whole time.

A low sound reverberated from the back of Shisui's throat as he replied, "You little shit, I meant laying like this." After another heart wrenching kiss that left him slightly breathless, he added with his forehead resting against Itachi's, "I was always happiest when I was about to fall asleep with you, still am."

Itachi gave him a heated look he knew to take as an agreement, and he took that opportunity to flip them over so that he was firmly between the love of his life's legs without putting any real weight on him. When Itachi gave him a real laugh and tugged at his sleep pants, he decided, "But now I'm torn."

Itachi gave him a questioning look, giving up on removing Shisui's pants and deciding to instead reach in the front of his pants to grab his hardened length with a warm, soft hand. Shisui groaned his explanation, "The sex might be even better."

Itachi laughed again and started lightly and oh-so-fucking slowly pumping the man above him like he was afraid that he wasn't allowed to anymore, regardless of Shisui's words. The shy look he was giving him was driving Shisui more insane than his pumping hand, leaving him breathless as he decided that the time for words and cuteness was over. Itachi was going to be his, and he was going to be his _now._

Without further ado, Shisui leaned down and started biting and sucking over every single yellow blotch on the otherwise flawless skin that made up Itachi Uchiha. When Itachi's whines would reach their apex from him biting and sucking brutally, he'd apologize with his tongue, drawing out haphazard circles to soothe and excite his lover before he moved on to next one. He was utterly amazed when Itachi began writhing beneath him from his ministrations, he wasn't even really touching him yet, and yet the grip on his length tightened and became sporadic at random intervals as Itachi hastily began to lose all semblance of control.

So Itachi liked biting? A smirk graced Shisui lips and he hastily move down, forgetting about the pleasure Itachi's hand was bringing him, to bite and lick, brutal and then oh so tender, all the way down Itachi's chest and stomach. He found every place that made the young Uchiha melt and cataloged it for later use, giggling to himself when Itachi nearly flew off the bed when he reach just inside one of hip bones.

Itachi looked down with lust-glazed Sharingan and their eyes stayed locked as Shisui pulled Itachi's sleep pants—the only piece of clothing he was wearing—down with his teeth. When Shisui grasped the dripping sex at the base, he was awarded with an audible gulp follow by a low drawn out groan when he placed his lips over the tip. He didn't know how long he would be able to hold out on thoroughly ravishing the body beneath him, but he wanted to display every bit of possessive affection he held in his heart, so he made sure to put all his efforts into the organ in his mouth.

He hummed and sucked at the tip, gliding his tongue deftly on the slit before bobbing his head down and taking the entire six inch length into his mouth, trying his best to relax his throat, before coming back up and repeating the process a few times.

Before long, Itachi seemed to grow inpatient at his slow, teasing pace and yanked him by his hair up for a kiss. So Itachi thought he was in control? Shisui was marking him as him own, not the other way around, so he chuckled as he broke the kiss and whispered while pinching a pebbled rosy nipple, "You little shit."

In the next moment, with all the agility of the trained assassin he was, Shisui flipped the body beneath him over and marveled the perfect back, hips and rounded ass. He wanted to mark every damn inch. His groin became so painfully engorged at the sight, he couldn't help but stroke it a few times to relieve the pressure.

Deciding to kill two birds with one stone, Shisui ignored Itachi's questioning stare from the pillow and reached into the low table by the bed and retrieved the cherry lube he had used the first and only time they'd done what they were about to do, hoping it brought back the same amazing memories for Itachi that it did for Shisui. A small growl echoed in his mind, but he'd long since become accustomed to ignoring the animal he'd met in the Mist.

Without hesitation this time, he poured some of the sickly sweet liquid onto three fingers and guiding one into the puckered hole he gained access to by spreading the cheeks with his other hand. Noticing his issue with access, Itachi moved up so that his ass was in the air, his head still on the pillow watching Shisui intently.

The look did strange but not at all unpleasant things to his heart, and he suddenly remembered the other goal he had to accomplish while he stretched Itachi. Getting up on his knees, behind the younger male in such a delicious pose, he snaked one hand around his chest, lifting him up so his back barely brushed Shisui's chest, all without stopping his moving finger.

Just as he bit down on the back of one of Itachi's shoulders, he added a second digit and went in search for the prostate, fully intent on bringing out as many noises as he could. Though he was always the more vocal one in everything else, he was overwhelmingly pleased that Itachi was the vocal one in bed, and was awaiting the beautiful noises. When he found the spot in question, Itachi nearly screamed and the jolt of electricity the noise sent to his groin made him bite down particularly hard on the piece of throat in his mouth.

That's when it happened.

Shisui tasted salty copper on his tongue and the low growl in his head drove him literally barking and raving mad. Before he could think, he withdrew his fingers, forgetting the third and in the next moment had his pants pulled down and his length lined up to slam into his favorite place in the world. He hesitated for a moment, only long enough to spread the liquid that remained on his hand onto himself and add another punishing bite to Itachi's left shoulder, digging his nails into the hard chest in his other hand.

Just when he tasted more blood on his tongue, and saw the blooming purple splotches littering the body in front of him, he pulled the crow hair teen onto his lap and slammed his hips down until his thighs were touching Shisui's. There was a slight moment of panic in the back of his mind that he might have hurt Itachi too much to be considered pleasurable but that was silenced when Itachi leaned forward slightly, only to come back down with a slapping sound and loud moan.

Shisui used his wet hand to guide Itachi's hips and the other to reach up to his delicate throat and squeeze almost tight enough not to be called gentle. Itachi responded like a dream, moaning and bucking down onto him, reaching his hands behind him to dig his nails into Shisui's thighs for traction. The pleasure Shisui found in this moment was tantamount to a dangerous high, and he couldn't help himself and he released the younger man and moved him off of his lap for only long enough to flip him over onto his back and slam home again.

As much as he liked how deep he could get in the previous position, he was afraid to lose himself without Itachi's face to keep him grounded on planet Earth. He surged his hips forward with in a sporadic and heavenly pace, feeling the coil tighten dangerously close to snapping in his belly. Just as he reached down to stroke at Itachi's red with abandon member, he was pulled down for a hungry and sloppy kiss. When he felt all too soon his release screaming at him, he pulled away to bite at Itachi's neck to keep it at bay.

'Just a little longer.' He bit harder, drawing blooming little beads of blood from Itachi's pectoral and picking up the pace and pressure of his strokes.

But all was lost when the velvety orifice he found himself in clenched around him, and a loud scream broke throughout the apartment. He barely registered the scrunched face and liquid on his still pumping hand as he let out his own quieter groan—nearly a low growl—and spilled himself deep inside his lover, his entire body going rigid with the crashing pleasure.

When he was sated and the relaxing high pulled at him, he collapsed fully onto the body beneath him, mimicking the ragdoll Itachi had been a couple of nights ago.

After several moments of panting, arms wrapped themselves around his back and pulled him closer to the warmth beneath him. It took him a moment to remember it was Itachi's arms and Itachi's warmth.

"Wow," was all Itachi could say, with a heaviness lacing his voice that gave Shisui a pause.

He pulled himself slightly to look down at the younger boy, and was appalled to see a tear escaping a now obsidian eye. With panic evident, and painfully aware he was still inside the crying boy, he frantically wiped the tear away and asked, "Did I hurt you? Tachi! Are you okay?"

But Itachi only smiled and squeezed his arms tighter. His eyes had the look to them that Shisui recognized from every time he learned something new. His tentative assumptions were proven correct when Itachi bewilderedly whispered, "I liked it. What you did this time, do it again?"

Shisui thought about immediately obliging but there was business to take care of now that he'd completed his immediate goal. So he simply leaned his forehead down onto Itachi's and smiled his close eyed smile and whispered, "I love you, Tachi. Time to get up though."

Itachi sighed but agreed, but not before muttering almost inaudibly, "I love you, Shisui."

Shisui pulled out of Itachi and they cleaned up before Itachi decided to make them breakfast. They hadn't discussed it yet, but they both knew the rest of the day would be spent planning the salvation of the Hidden Leaf Village.

* * *

After the most delicious breakfast Shisui'd had since, well… Since the last time Itachi cooked, he went about racking his brain about how to even begin with the plans he needed to make. Itachi was sitting on the other side of the low table, sipping his tea with scrunched eyebrows and he could almost hear his own mirrored thoughts coming from the boy.

Deciding to distract them both for a little while, they had all day after all; he asked the only question he knew would always bring Itachi out of himself. "How's Little-Shit-chan doing?"

Right on schedule, Itachi's face relaxed and he looked out of the window for a moment with a half smile before replying, "Sasuke is good. He's just learned the Fire Ball Jutsu, and gushed to me for an hour last time I saw him about Father saying he was proud of him." The happiness on his face faltered for just a moment, and Shisui knew why without it ever needing to be spoken.

Sasuke wanted nothing more in life than to have his father be proud of him, but they both knew what it was like to have Fugaku Uchiha be fully proud of you. Neither of them would ever wish that on innocent little Sasuke.

"Is he as much of a show off at school as you were, Itachi-sama?" Shisui decided to joke.

"Oh please, you didn't even go to the academy, Shisui- _nii_ ," he teased back, both using the names they were forced to use in public.

"Aa, and so I didn't get the chance to show off and have a crew and get all the ladies like you, Tachi."

Itachi laughed a real laugh at his simplification of his time in the academy. "Since when did I get all the ladies?"

Shisui slapped the table after a moment of fake pondering. "That girl, what's her name…?"

"Izumi," Itachi offered.

"Ah, see you knew exactly where I was going! She still follows you around like a puppy whenever you're in the compound." Placing a hand to his heart, he mocked an exasperated sigh, "One day I think you'll leave me for her!"

Itachi slapped the hand from his chest away and said with nothing but love in his voice, "You're impossible, Shisui. Besides, you've had your fair share of girls follow you around."

"Aa, and you were always jealous!" Shisui replied, thinking back to when Itachi had thought he had slept with Nanami a few years ago. The memory, though pleasant, served to sober them both up.

"Hn."

"Yeah."

With a sigh, Itachi got up to start the dishes and Shisui tried to stop his mind from wandering to the last night he'd seen her. The animal growled in his head, but this time for a completely different reason than before. It was remembering the blood, the enemies falling to his feet just because he told them too.

Wait.

The tea glass slipped from Shisui's fingers as he froze, the wheels spinning in his head faster than he could keep up. He barely registered Itachi dashing over and asking if he was okay, and after a while shaking his shoulders.

The Kotoamatsukami! If he could use it when all the important clan members were together, he could stop all of this useless fighting, he could save everything! It was so simple he felt stupid for not realizing it earlier. He could do this, he could stop them.

He would stop them, and it would be that simple, wouldn't it? He might even be able to convince them to other things while he was at it. All he needed was the stage to be set.

Cracking a wicked smile and letting his eyes finally focus on Itachi, he whispered, "I know what to do," before dashing out of the house as fast as he could get dressed.

Itachi stayed standing in the middle of his apartment looking as confused as he had been in his entire life.

* * *

It only took a few hours to call an emergency meeting of the council, telling them he'd found out something important. The only problem he ran into was getting the Uchiha elders to accept his request to let the clan leader join in their secret meeting with him.

By the time the sun set, he walked into the secret gathering place, ignoring the confused and impatient looks of the men as he made his way to the stone tablet.

Shisui didn't really have that much of a plan, other than going on instinct and putting an end to all of this folly once and for all. His Sharingan spun to life and he took his place before the elders, looking each one of them in the eye with his normal three tomoe to lay the groundwork for his jutsu. Without the heat of battle, he'd need a few minute to set it up before he could make his orders, so now he had to go about stalling them, which seemed like fun.

"What is this about, boy?" Niori Uchiha asked in a tired and irritated way, eyeing Fugaku warily.

That only solidified the fact that they hadn't been letting their leader know the dubious things they'd been up to lately, in Shisui's mind.

"I've gathered you all here to tell you a few things," he deadpanned.

Fugaku, with his arms crossed over his chest was the first one to speak when he didn't say anything further, he still needed two minutes. "Okay, what's going on now?"

With a sigh he told his lover's father, "It's about the clan's plans." And with a smirk, he added, "And about Itachi-sama, Taichou."

The choked noises from the other elders drew both his and Fugaku's attentions. So they hadn't told him _anything_ about the suspicions around his son? Interesting.

"What about Itachi? Speak boy!" Fugaku ranted, standing up and coming closer by a hair.

Finally, he felt the pulsing in his right eye, and cockily grinned at all of them as the tomeo transformed into the four pointed star.

Before any of them could take note of it, though all eyes were on him (the idiots), he cleared his throat and decided on his orders. In the practice he'd done on random people in the last year, he knew he had less than two minutes to make all of his requests, especially with this large a number.

"There will be no war, no negotiations with other villages against our own, no nine tails attack, no more outrageous demands to the village. You will all move on from your current line of meddling, and accept things the way they are now. You will stop inciting your fellow clan members and instead will work to pacify the anger you've been keeping alive." There was still something else he needed from them, and scrunched his eyebrows to think how to put it. "Itachi Uchiha will remain your spy in the Anbu and you will request that I join him in the ranks. You will leave watching him and his behavior solely up to me and you will not question my decisions for him."

Finally, before the jutsu ran out along with his stamina, he added, "Now leave here immediately and tell no one of this meeting. Go straight home and sleep. You will not remember this in the morning. Am I understood?"

There was a collective "Yes," just as he fell to his knees, clutching at his bleeding eye. The men were all in a trance from his genjutsu, but they would be normal again by morning, doing exactly what he said.

Shisui was becoming worried when the light from the torches became fuzzy, and his eye didn't stop its bleeding. He might have overdone it? He'd never controlled that many powerful shinobi at once before, even the first time they were all just chunin, not leaders of a prestigious clan.

He finally fell to the floor, expecting to hit the hard cold stone beneath him, but instead found himself in the arms of his lover.

"That was…" Itachi trailed off as he helped him into a sitting position.

"Heh, told you I knew what to do."

Itachi simply nodded as he they watched the last councilor shuffle his way out of the room.

"It's over?" Itachi whispered after a long moment, his arms tightening their grasp on Shisui's shoulders.

"Aa, for now at least," he replied. He was just about to ask why Itachi was dressed in his Anbu gear when everything went dark.

* * *

Itachi sat in the dwindling torchlight staring at the face of his lover for a long time. The flickering light kissing at his broad nose, and sparkling off the crimson essence flowing from his eye left the teen Itachi'd known since his real life began looking rather like a fallen angel in his arms.

A strangled sound escaped his throat as he let the events that had just unfolded sink in.

When Shisui had busted out of the apartment that morning, he'd been too stunned to move for a while, and by the time he got dressed and followed, he was unable to find the curly-haired boy. His detective work for the rest of the day had led him to believe that Shisui was doing something with the entire band of Uchiha elders tonight, though he wasn't sure what.

A sinking feeling in his gut that was screaming that the eradication of the elders might slip into Shisui's ever more unstable mind had led Itachi back to the apartment to gear up. He wasn't sure why he felt he needed to be ready for battle, but he couldn't stop himself.

As he had walked to the Nakano Shrine he'd been contemplating whether or not he'd really be able to kill the elders himself if Shisui were stupid enough to provoke them. He knew his father was going to be there. Could he bring himself to kill his father?

A bubbling hatred for the man who had sent his toddler self to war made itself known in his head. He'd long since buried that hatred, but Sasuke's eyes when their father would forgo spending any time with the boy just to order Itachi around had brought it up over the years. He loved his parents, though he would most likely never admit it. It was a small and warm love in his heart, but much different to the boiling cauldron of protectiveness he felt for Sasuke or the hot white fire that burned for Shisui.

But it was there.

So, if indeed he had to kill the elders tonight, would he be able to kill his father with them?

And even if he managed to defeat them all (which he had little doubts on his _physical_ ability to, especially with Shisui there as well), what would happen then?

The Uchiha survivors would either know that it was he and Shisui who had committed the act, or they would think it was the village who was to blame. Either way, all would be lost.

How many people would die if Shisui's plans were really what Itachi they were? There would be no stopping the war that would break out if the clan believed the village had killed their elders. A war that Sasuke would be forced to fight in, his tiny hand ripping throats instead of playing with the green dinosaur Itachi had given him two years ago. That could not happen. It was an impossibility in Itachi's mind. It did not compute.

And there would be no stopping the clan from executing he and Shisui if they knew it was really them. The thought of Shisui dying left him staggering in his run up the stairs to the shrine. That could never happen either. Itachi knew without a doubt that he would completely break; his entire sense of self would go spilling away along with Shisui's lifeblood. Another impossibility.

So that left him with one option, if Shisui really thought to kill the elders in his frustration about the Nine Tails.

He would have to kill every Uchiha, every soul with a wish for war and power. At first, when that thought when across his mind, Itachi nearly lost his dinner on the steps, falling on his hands and knees in a fit of hyperventilation.

But he stilled when images of Shisui's flushed and sweaty face moving above early came into view.

He found his resolve in the possible course his life might take that night when Sasuke's smiling, happy and untainted face soon followed.

He would do what was necessary for the two he loved above all else, and for the village who he was loyal to only after them.

A sickening voice in his head knew the elders of the village would have no qualms with his new found possible plan of action.

But then, when he was still doubting Shisui's sanity and ability absolutely, he heard the orders wafting from the hallway and understood completely that indeed he was the one being stupid.

Shisui had saved the Uchiha, the village and above all stopped a war that would put everything Itachi loved in jeopardy. He had succeeded where Itachi had kept failing, and Itachi had the nerve to doubt him just moments before.

Heavy tears fell from his eyes as he picked up the unconscious form and ran as quickly as he could to their basically shared home. When he finally made it, he collapsed on the futon, still holding on for dear life and let gut splitting sobs overtake him.

"Thank you, Shisui. Thank you thank you thank you thank you…" he repeated the mantra until the sobs stopped and the relief set in.

It was over. For now at least, it was finally over and they could finally sleep without worry of a war come morning.

* * *

In the shadows, a figure watched silently as the prodigies dashed out of the shrine a few minutes after the Uchiha elders had stumbled away in a daze.

The figure looked over to the shadow beside him and whispered to the night, "We must report this to Danzou-sama immediately," before they both faded out of existence.

* * *

 **Cliffhangers... I know I'm horrible!**

 **Review review review! I love to know what you guys think, and if you have any suggestions or questions; and a special thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far.**

 **And as always, have a great day!**


	11. AN please read :D sorry!

**Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the slow updates! I've been having some issues with my health, and I could only handle one story at a time for a while there, but I'm back!**

 **SO! I have about half a chapter typed up so far and the next two to three outlined, but I've decided to go back and edit the first couple of chapters here (they were kinda shit), because I was typing with Notepad with no spellcheck or proof reader back then. So I should have all of the 5(?) chapters replaced, and a new chapter up by the end of the week :)**

 **Again, sorry guys! I know I suck I'm sorry!**

 **Next chapter should make up for it though :3**

 **As always, have a great day!**


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